September 18, 2000 Edition: #1891
Here’s a cool list from the “Melbourne Herald Sun” thanks to our Aussie BS contributor Jamie MacDonald. Get listeners to add to it!
IF HOLLYWOOD ENTERED THE OLYMPIC’S AS A COUNTRY . . .
Men‘s Marathon — Tom Hanks in “Forest Gump”
Men’s Table Tennis — Tom Hanks again in “Forest Gump”
Heavyweight boxing – Sylvester Stallone from “Rocky”
Middleweight boxing — Denzel Washington in “The Hurricane”
Men’s Cycling — “ET”
Women’s Fencing — Catherine Zeta-Jones in “The Mask of Zorro”
Women’s Modern Pentathlon – Demi Moore as “GI Jane”
Men’s Shooting — Arnold Schwarzenegger (pick a movie)
(And how about Mark Wahlberg in “Boogie Nights” – Pole Vaulting?)
BS TABLOID TRASH:
• “Hollywood Reporter” is reporting that HBO has bought rights to Jeffrey Toobin’s book, “A Vast Conspiracy” and will turn the behind-the-scenes details of the Monica Lewinsky scandal into a movie. (We predict it sucks.)
• “New York Daily News” says 60-year-old Al Pacino and his 45-year-old actress girlfriend, Beverly D’Angelo (Chevy Chase’s wife in “National Lampoon Vacation”), are expecting twins the end of this year. Pacino has never been married, and there’s no word if he plans to make the family legit. (He’s too busy practising his surprised look in the mirror and developing his ‘motivation’ for changing diapers.)
• Elton John may be looking at a lawsuit for blowing off a $200-a-ticket concert at a Lisbon, Portugal casino. According to “Q Online”, Sir Elton lost patience when the VIP crowd of 1,250 took too long to move from the dining room to the concert hall — so he jumped in his car and went to the airport to catch his private jet. (Can you say ‘snit’?)
• According to “National Enquirer”, the romance between 63-year-old Jack Nicholson and 30-year-old Lara Flynn Boyle (“The Practice”) is over — and she’s already making a move on Bruce Willis! (Nicholson, on the other hand, is waiting for his next girlfriend to be born.)
• And here’s a few of the exciting headlines from this week’s “Weekly World News” – “Super-mom lifts car off her daughter & drops it on her 5-year-old son!”, “Hospital flowers can make patients sicker!”, and – our fave – “Farmer and wife claim ghost chickens have ruined their lives!”.
BS FAST FACTS:
• Only 40% of Canadian men who try to lose weight do it to improve their appearance. (The rest do it to try to avoid clothes shopping.)
• According to “Vegetarian Times”, 81% of vegetarians are female. (See, your wife’s not the only one who refuses to eat meat.)
• Research shows you are 6 times more likely to talk to yourself than laugh when you’re all alone. (Either way, you really need to get out more.)
• The Netherlands has just become the first country to allow same-sex couples to marry. (Hey, they’ve got all those dykes eh?.)
• The first hero of these Olympics is Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe, who is nicknamed “The Thorpedo”. (Does that rubber suit he wears makes his thighs thore?)
THE BULL SHEET 09.18.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [67] Scotty Bowman, Montreal PQ, all-time winningest NHL coach (more than 800 career victories and 8 Stanley Cup championships with Detroit, Pittsburgh and Montreal)
1950 [50] Daryl Sittler, NHL exec/former player (Toronto Maple Leafs)/record 10 points in single game
1961 [39] James Gandolfini, Westwood NJ, TV actor (2000 Emmy Award-Tony Soprano Sr-“The Sopranos”)
1971 [29] Jada Pinkett Smith, Baltimore MD, movie actress (“Scream 2″, “The Nutty Professor”)/Mrs Will Smith since 1997 (he’s 6’2″, she’s 5′)
1971 [29] Lance Armstrong, Dallas TX, Olympic cyclist/double Tour de France winner
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
As a backlash against “Casual Fridays” and the overall trend toward casual dress in the workplace, a group of menswear retailers is launching “Dress-Up Thursdays” THIS WEEK, hoping to get men to wear suits at least one day a week. The proponents say ‘sloppy casual’ attire in the office is directly linked to absenteeism, low productivity, flirtation and lack of decorum. (Great topic for a phone poll!)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1851 [149] 1st edition of “New York Times” costs 2 cents (origin of ‘putting in your 2-cents-worth’?)
1895 [105] 1st ‘chiropractor’ (30 million ‘back adjustments’ are now performed in Canada annually)
1985 [15] 1st ‘Top 10 List’ on “Late Night with David Letterman” (‘Things That Almost Rhyme With Peas’)
1999 [01] Chicago Cubs’ Sammy Sosa becomes 1st MLB player to reach 60-home run mark twice
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] MuchMusic Video Awards
[Thurs] National Student Day
[Fri] 1st Day of Autumn
National Farm Animals Awareness Week (what’s that gawd-awful smell?)
Shameless Promotion Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
MEASURING UP:
Ask listeners to call in handy methods for making quick measurements. For instance – your wedding ring size is the same as your hat size, the distance from your elbow to your wrist equals the length of your foot, and the size of a man’s feet are an indication of the size of . . . well you get the idea.
OLYMPIC TRIVIA:
• The estimated number of people in the world who will watch at least some of the Sydney Games — 3.7 billion.
• The number of medals Canada won at the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympics — 22.
• The number of sports in the 2000 Sydney Summer Olympics — 28.
• The number of new homes (513) and new apartments (355) built to house the Olympic competitors at the Athletes Village in Newington – total 868.
Q: TODAY is the 30th anniversary of the death or rock legend Jimi Hendrix. In what city did he die?
A: He died at 27 in London after taking 9 sleeping pills. There’s a new compilation box set out that includes previously unreleased material.
BS TAG LINE:
Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.