Thursday, September 9, 2010                   Edition: #4339

Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie have reportedly purchased a $40-million estate in the Valpolicella hills of northern Italy, complete with 15 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, 2 swimming pools, and a theater (house #3 in Brangelina’s growing real estate portfolio) . . . A Los Angeles judge has ruled that 46-year-old actress Nicollette Sheridan can continue her lawsuit against “Desperate Housewives” and ABC-TV for alleged assault & battery, gender violence, wrongful termination, and discrimination based on sex, sexual orientation, and age (seems someone’s bitter about getting the ax!) . . . Former heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson tells AP his biggest regret is refusing to smoke weed with his rapper-pal Tupac Shakur before he died in 1996 (wow, what a missed opportunity) . . . A Bronx NY high-rise apartment building widely acknowledged as the birthplace of hip-hop has been saved from being leveled for development following a 3-year campaign by rap pioneer DJ Kool Herc, whose 1973 house party in a 1520 Sedgwick Avenue rec room is credited as the beginning of the genre (residents have now bought the block for $14 million) . . . Actress Jane Fonda says she’ll reveal all about her recent cosmetic surgery make-over in a new book she’s writing about aging (parts of her are now 72) . . . 23-year-old airhead Heidi Montag, who infamously underwent 10 cosmetic surgery procedures in one day, has felt it necessary to inform us she regularly massages her new G-cup implants because she’s afraid they might ‘go hard’ and she urges other surgically-enhanced women to follow suit (snort, don’t you love it when she talks?) . . . And today’s semi-celebrity rumored to be dating Jennifer Aniston is – “Cougar Town” actor Josh Hopkins (congratulations, Josh!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Americana Music Honors & Awards Show – Jim Lauderdale hosts the 9th annual salute to roots music at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium. ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ honorees include John Mellencamp and Wanda Jackson.
NET: http://bit.ly/c5yMWT
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – John Legend (“Wake Up Everybody”).
• “Jersey Shore” (MTV) – The roommates deal with fallout from the fight; Jenni and Snooki clean up the ‘smush room’.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ray LaMontagne (“God Willin’ & The Creek Don’t Rise”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – City & Colour (“Live At the Orange Lounge”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Rock & roll pioneer Jerry Lee Lewis.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Jamey Johnson (“The Guitar Song”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Fantasia (“Back to Me”).
• “NFL Opening Kickoff 2010” (NBC/NFL) – Dave Matthews Band and Taylor Swift perform pre-game live from Jackson Square in New Orleans LA. Opening game features 40-year-old grandpa Brett Favre’s Minnesota Vikings vs Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints.
• “Nikita” (CW/A-Channel) – Series premiere of a new drama about a former spy/assassin who seeks retribution against a secret US agency. Stars Maggie Q. Based on the movie “La Femme Nikita” (1990). Shot in Toronto.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Sheryl Crow (“100 Miles From Memphis”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – David Gray (“Foundling”).
• Toronto International Film Festival – The 35th edition opens with “Score: A Hockey Musical”. 300,000 fans are expected to take in 300 films through September 19th. Stars attending include Bruce Springsteen, Helen Mirren, Hilary Swank, Javier Bardem, Matt Damon, Megan Fox, Mickey Rourke, Natalie Portman, Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, and a gazillion others.
NET: http://tiff.net
• “The Vampire Diaries” (CW/A-Channel) – 2nd season premiere.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Killers – 29-year-old frontman Brandon Flowers, who released his solo side project “Flamingo” last week, says he’ll reconvene the Killers next year as he realized while recording on his own that the band ‘can’t be replaced’.
• Lady Gaga – She’s being chastised by PETA for appearing on the cover of Japan’s “Vogue Hommes” magazine wearing a bikini made entirely of … red meat.
• Taylor Swift – An insider says she’s fed up with Kanye West continually bringing up last year’s “VMAs” incident when he stormed the stage during her acceptance speech. Word has it Taylor has moved on from the debacle and wishes Kanye would do the same.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Battleship” – Liam Neeson has signed on to star as naval officer ‘Admiral Shane’, joining a cast that already includes Alexander Skarsgaard (“True Blood”), model Brooklyn Decker, pop singer Rihanna (in her movie debut), and Taylor Kitsch (“Friday Night Lights”). The bigscreen version of the long-popular game is due to hit cinemas May 18, 2012.
• “Gravity” – Natalie Portman has been offered the chance to replace Angelina Jolie who recently pulled out of this $80-million 3-D production. If Portman signs on, she’ll play a woman stranded on a space station after a crash kills the rest of the crew. Robert Downey Jr co-stars. “Gravity” is scheduled to begin shooting in January.
• “Manual of Love 3” – Monica Bellucci ( “Sorcerer’s Apprentice) is teaming with Robert DeNiro for the latest film in this Italian romantic drama franchise. She’ll play the love interest of De Niro’s character, a divorced American professor living in Rome. The movie will be partially in Italian and partially in English, in hopes it can find an English-language audience as well.
• ‘Mission: Impossible 4’ – 34-year-old Paula Patton (“Precious”) has signed up as the female lead, playing a young operative who works with ‘Ethan Hunt’ (Tom Cruise). The as-yet-untitled $140-million movie is designed to be a reboot of the franchise rather than a continuation. Shooting begins this Fall.
• “The Mystery Island” – This 3-D family adventure, a sequel to “Journey To the Center Of the Earth”, is set to star 17-year-old Josh Hutcherson (from the first film), plus Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, and 77-year-old acting veteran Michael Caine. The film is set to shoot next month in Hawaii and North Carolina for a release date in September next year.

LOST FUEL FROM BEING LOST:
Men waste thousands-of-dollars in fuel costs because they refuse to ask for directions when lost, according to a new study in the UK. The research, commissioned by a British insurance company, suggests that male drivers travel an unnecessary 444 km extra each year (276 mi) simply because they stubbornly refuse to ask for assistance when lost. (Truth or stereotype?)
– AOL News

SWAP SO YOU CAN DROP:
A few recommended substitute foods that will help you lose weight …
• Replace a bagel or bran muffin with 2 slices of whole-wheat toast. Skip the butter.
• Choose a regular take-out coffee instead of fancy concoctions with whole milk and/or whipped cream.
• Nix just 1 yolk from meals requiring 2 eggs. There are only 16 calories in the white and no fat.
• Swap fattening potato chips for popcorn. A cup of air-popped popcorn has 31 calories and no fat.
• Replace just 1 can of soda pop a day with a glass of iced water. You’ll save 140 calories.
• If you normally have beef a couple of times a week, change 1 meal to fish instead.
• Swap regular beer with light beer; and regular wine with a wine spritzer, cut with soda water.
– Condensed from “Best Health Magazine”

TALKING TO OURSELVES:
We think far more words than we speak. While measuring the contents of people’s minds is difficult, it seems that up to 80% of our mental experiences are verbal. That means the extent of our interior monologue vastly surpasses the number of words we speak out loud. Stanford University psychologist Lera Boroditsky estimates that, on average, 70% of our total verbal experience is in our head. (Don’t bug me right now … I’m in the middle of an argument!)
– “New Scientist”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• This week the mayor of Dublin, Georgia has signed into law a new ordinance that bans the wearing of saggy pants in public, penalizing violators with a fine of up to $200. (The law will be enforced by the town’s crack police force.)
– AHN
• A poll of Brits facing financial problems has found the first thing they’d cut back on if times got even tougher is … food. The last things they’d give up? Their pets and broadband Internet. (Nice to see their priorities are in order.)
– NYPost.com
• A 31-year-old Japanese motorist busted for driving 90 km (54 mi) down the wrong side of an expressway and crashing through 5 police blockades before being arrested has offered up an unusual excuse … he was upset his cat died and wanted to do something crazy. (Success!)
– “Mainichi Daily News”

REAL BUT REALLY ODD COURSES:
• ‘Zombie 101’ – This new University of Baltimore course requires watching 16 horror films and reading a slew of comic books. Cram it all into a weekend and you’ll be walking around like … well, a zombie.
• ‘Invented Languages: Klingon and Beyond’ – Get an A in this University of Texas course and get the final punch on your nerd card for global supremacy.
• ‘History of Rock Music’ – Required course materials for this Cornell University course include a pair of ears and a big fat doobie.
• ‘The Art of Walking’ – This Centre College course sounds quite pedestrian, but the good news is you can do your homework on the way to and from class.
• ‘The Phallus’ – You don’t have to have balls to take this Occidental College course but it helps if you can handle the subject matter. Course hours vary in length; some tests are harder than others.
– Adapted from “The Toilet Paper”

FOR THE RECORD:
Guinness World Records has announced that the new ‘World’s Shortest Man’ measures in at 70.21 cm (2 ft, 3.46 ins) tall, 4 cm shorter than the previous title holder, He Pingping of China.
24-year-old Edward Hernandez of Bogota, Colombia will be featured in the new edition of the Guinness World Records book, due out September 15th.
– QMI Agency

DID YOU KNOW?
• Carbon monoxide emissions from 1 cigar are 30 times higher than from 1 cigarette.
– “Vitality Magazine”
• It’s estimated that 95% of the world’s lab mice are descended from mice born in the Jackson Laboratory in Bar Harbor, Maine.
– MentalFloss.com
• 30% of Craigslist’s estimated $122 million revenue for 2010 comes from their ‘adult services’ section, where it costs $10 to post an ad.
– TTP

BS CHRONOMETER 09.09.10

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [58] Dave Stewart, Sunderland UK, record producer/classic rock musician (Eurythmics-“Sweet Dreams”, “Here Comes the Rain Again”)

1960 [50] Hugh Grant, London UK, movie actor (“Music & Lyrics”, “Bridget Jones” films)

1966 [44] Adam Sandler, Brooklyn NY, movie actor/producer (“Grown Ups”, “The Wedding Singer”)

1969 [41] Rachel Hunter, Auckland, New Zealand, fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”, “Cosmopolitan”, “Playboy”)/TV personality (“Celebrity Circus”, “Dancing With the Stars”)/Mrs Rod Stewart (1990-99)

1975 [35] Michael Bublé, Burnaby BC, big band crooner (“Haven’t Met You Yet”, “Home”)

1980 [30] Michelle Williams, Kalispell MT, movie actress (“Shutter Island”, “Brokeback Mountain”)/former TV actress (“Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/Heath Ledger’s baby mama

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Expectant Father’s Day”, a day for neglected first-time dads to get some much needed recognition.

• “Teddy Bear Day”, honoring the first and most popular plush animal that was inspired by the helpless cub US President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot while hunting in 1902. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn NY candy store, took credit for creating the 1st ‘Teddy Bear’ in the USA shortly after that incident, but it may be that renowned German toymaker Steiff was already making bears by then.

• “Wonderful Weirdos Day”, saluting all people who are … well, kinda quirky. Know any?

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [15] “Gangsta’s Paradise” by one-hit-wonder Coolio reaches #1 on pop singles chart

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1995 [15] 1st ‘Sony PlayStation’ goes on sale

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Eid-Al-Fitr (Muslim)
[Fri] Stand Up to Cancer Day
[Fri] World Suicide Prevention Day
[Sat] 9/11 Remembrance Day
[Sun] 27th “Video Music Awards” (MTV)
[Sun] “Canadian Country Music Awards” (Edmonton AB)
[Sun] Grandparents Day
This Week Is … National 5-A-Day Week (fruits & vegetables)
This Month Is … Cholesteral Education & Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

NEW ORLEANS SAINT OR CATHOLIC SAINT?
A fun little guessing game in honor of tonight’s NFL opener …
• Antoine Daniel [Catholic Saint. A Jesuit missionary who worked in 17th-century Canada.]
• Klaus Wilmsmeyer [New Orleans Saint. Booted 160 punts during the 1995-96 seasons.]
• Andrew Bobola [Catholic Saint. A 17th-century Polish Jesuit martyred by Cossacks.]
• Cuthbert Mayne [Catholic Saint. A 16th-century English priest martyred in 1577.]
• Daniel Comboni [Catholic Saint. A 19th-century missionary who worked in Central Africa.]
• Julian Fagan [New Orleans Saint. The team’s punter from 1970 to 1972.]
• Hugo Hollas [New Orleans Saint. A punt returner from 1970 to 1972.]
• George Preca [Catholic Saint. A Maltese priest who founded the Society of Christian Doctrine.]
• John Fourcade [New Orleans Saint. A QB who spent 4 seasons on the roster from 1987-90.]
• Pio Sagapolutele [New Orleans Saint. Started 13 games on the defensive line in 1997.]
• John Bosco [Catholic Saint. A 19th-century priest and educator.]
• Dino Philyaw [New Orleans Saint. Spent the 1999 season as a kick returner and backup RB.]
– Thanks to Ethan Trex

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.

HOW MEAN IS HE?
He’s so mean that …
• If you kicked him in the heart, you’d break your toe.
• He’d steal a dead fly from a blind spider.
• You couldn’t warm up to him if you were cremated together.
• He sends get-well cards to hypochondriacs.
• The only thing he’ll share with you willingly is a communicable disease.
• He folds his newspaper so the guy next to him on the bus can only read half the headline.
• He’d throw a drowning man both ends of the rope.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Your little ones aren’t big huggers, which some family members take as a slight. Should you force your kids to show affection?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: For each hour on-the-job, the average person in THIS profession spends about 67 minutes just standing around.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: NFL player. The average game devotes 56% more time to showing replays than actual live action. (“Wall Street Journal”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nothing is opened more often by mistake than the mouth.