September 27, 2007

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Thursday, September 27, 2007        Edition: #3622
More From the Sheet House!

LAST NIGHT Canada’s ACTRA actors’ union went ahead with the presentation of an ‘Award Of Excellence’ to Kiefer Sutherland (“24”) at the home of the Canadian consul in Los Angeles, despite his arrest on suspicion of DUI but it’s unclear if he actually showed up as all media was banned (well there was an open bar so …) . . . CBC-TV’s “Little Mosque on the Prairie” continues to generate interest overseas — it’s now been sold to Middle East pay TV channel Yes Stars 3, which broadcasts to Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza (it’s already slotted to air in Dubai, Finland, France, and Turkey) . . . In its first week, Ken Burns’ new documentary series about WW2, called simply “The War” (PBS), had more viewers than anything other than “NBC’s Sunday Night Football” (goes to show how promising the new TV season is) . . . Actor Daniel Radcliffe has his sights set on following up his naked theater debut in “Equus” (in London & on Broadway in’08) by finding a challenging ‘gay role’ (uh dude, you already did “Harry Potter”) . . . 3-months pregnant actress Halle Berry has hired extra security after reportedly receiving racist threats toward her unborn baby in the form of sicko letters from a stalker . . . “Superman” actor Brandon Routh is set to wed longtime girlfriend, actress Courtney Ford, in a romantic ceremony on a California beach in NOVEMBER (‘Lois’ will be inconsolable) . . . “Jackass” star Bam Margera has gone public with his Jessica Simpson romance, admitting a brief fling with her ended his relationship with his previous girlfriend, sometime actress Jennifer Rivell (okay, hands up if you’re one of the 4 people left that hasn’t slept with Jessica) . . . And Simon Cowell has unwittingly saved a girl’s life by telling her that her voice sounded ‘weird’ on his British TV talent show “X Factor” – when later she got it checked, doctors found & treated potentially fatal lung disease (well thank goodness he didn’t like her!).

• Britney Spears – *NSYNC singer-turned-“Singing Bee” host Joey Fatone has offered his long-time pal sanctuary at his Orlando FL home, a place to recuperate out of the spotlight where he says his wife will ‘whip her into shape’. That’s gotta really bolster your marriage … have Britney move in.
• The Eagles – They’re performing at the 41st “CMA Awards” in Nashville TN NOVEMBER 7th, their first-ever appearance on the show.
• Elton John – He’s facing a police investigation after a photo he donated to an art exhibition was seized. The photo, taken by famed photographer Nan Godin, shows 2 young girls posing provocatively. It’s just 1 of 4,000 pictures that was to be exhibited in the “Sir Elton John Photographic Collection”. So just how old were those girls, Elt?
• 50 Cent – Think his nickname ‘Fiddy’ originated from urban street slang? Uh uh. He credits none other than Sharon Osbourne with coining the name at a televised awards ceremony. He says the moniker has stuck ever since the flirst time she said it. Maybe she was drunk?
• Mariah Carey – She says late soul singer Luther Vandross told her all about the benefits of steam to vocal chords. So now she has a ‘humidity zone’ in her NYC apartment where she sleeps 3 hours at a time.
• Martina McBride – She’s on the cover of the OCTOBER issue of “Reader’s Digest”. Inside, she reveals that, before she hit the bigtime, she was a ‘killer waitress’. Not literally, we hope.

• “Big Shots” (ABC): Michael Vartan (“Alias”) & Dylan McDermott (“The Practice”) star in this new drama that takes an inside look at the life of a CEO. Think that’ll be riveting enough to draw an audience? With those 2 hotties onboard, it just might be for females!
• Bjork – Everybody’s favorite Icelandic singer is on “Late Night with Conan O’ Brien” (NBC).
• “CSI” (CBS/CTV): In the 8th season premiere, the team scrambles to find ‘Sara’ (Jorja Fox’), who’s been kidnapped and put under a car in a remote area of the desert by the ‘Miniature Killer’. Think they’ve milked this storyline long enough?
• “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC/CTV) – The 4th season premieres without the departed ‘Dr Preston Burke’ (axed Isaiah Washington) & ‘Dr Addison Montgomery’ (Kate Walsh), who’s gone into “Private Practice”. There’s a new chief resident, ‘Callie’ (Sara Ramirez) to welcome a new batch of interns, including flunky ‘George’ (TR Knight) who’s repeating his intern year.
• Lake Ontario Waterkeeper – The grassroots environmental charity celebrates the release of its 1st benefit album, “At The Barricades: Vol 1”, with a show at Toronto’s Dakota Tavern. The compilation disc features tracks from Broken Social Scene, Sarah Harmer, and Tragically Hip frontman Gord Downie, among others.
• “The Office” (NBC/Global): In the special 1-hour 4th season premiere, ‘Michael’ (Steve Carell) explores the religious beliefs of his employees. But what we all want to know is … what happens on ‘Pam’ (Jenna Fischer) & ‘Jim’s (John Krasinski) long-awaited dinner date?
• Van Halen – Their much-talked-about reunion tour. featuring original lead singer David Lee Roth on vocals for the first time in 22 years. finally kicks off in Charlotte, North Carolina.
• Will Ferrell – He’s scheduled to announce who has won a walk-on cameo role in his next movie, “Step Brothers”. The gig was auctioned on eBay with proceeds benefitting the Cancer for College Foundation. Minimum bid was 5-grand.

A BS selection of movies in the makin’ …
• “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” — Jennifer Garner is in negotiations to star opposite Matthew McConaughey in this rom-com about a womanizer who’s visited by apparitions of girlfriends past, present, and future while attending his younger brother’s wedding. He ultimately realizes his childhood sweetheart is the perfect girl for him. Charles Dickens may sue for plagiarism.
• “Justice League of America” – Oscar-winning director George Miller (“Babe”) is onboard for this bigscreen treatment of the comic book story about a super team of superheroes. The film will likely feature ‘Aquaman’, ‘Batman’, ‘Superman’, ‘Wonder Woman’, and ‘The Flash’, but NOT played by the actors who had those roles in movies about the individual heroes.
• “Lost & Found” – “Grey’s Anatomy”/”Knocked Up” star Katherine Heigl and her mother have acquired the movie rights to Jacqueline Sheehan’s bestseller. Heigl apparently read the book during a recent vacation and optioned it for her production company. The story follows the fortunes of a distraught widow who takes a job in a remote Maine animal hospital. It hasn’t been announced if Heigl will star, but it seems likely. Seems Hollywood has a new power broker.

New terms leaking in to the lingo …
• ‘Pack-Year’ – A measurement of cigarette consumption equivalent to smoking 1 pack a day for an entire year. (In other words, 7,300 cancer sticks.)
• ‘Scalper-Bot’ – A software program designed to purchase large numbers of tickets for a concert, show, or other event online, enabling the owner to sell the tickets for a profit. (“I’m so bummed all 43,000 duckets for the Sabres-Penguins outdoor game New Year’s Day went in 20 minutes … must have been some scalper-bots involved.”)
• ‘Tattoo Regret’ – Feelings of embarrassment or remorse caused by tattoos one no longer wants, a problem for about 50% of tattooed respondents in a new poll. (“I’m so depressed with tattoo regret. I found out it’s going to cost $1,500 to get ‘Nick Lachey’ scraped off my cheek.”)

It’s not about fame or money; the jobs most of us see as having ‘high prestige’ are those that do good work which benefits society. That in mind, the professions with the greatest prestige are …
5. Military Officers (49%)
4. Nurses (50%)
3. Doctors (54%)
2. Scientists (56%)
1. Firefighters (56%)
And the job with the least prestige? A tie between Lawyers … and Entertainers.
– AP

• In Romania, a former boxer-turned-mayor is facing several lawsuits after beating up 5 municipal councillors who disagreed with his budget plan. Mayor Florea, from the town of Teslui, knocked-out one politician with a left hook, decked another with an upper-cut, and left others concussed with combination blows. All 5 injured councillors are suing. (Cool! Can you rent this guy out? We might actually get something done aorund here!)
• In Japan, a novelty company is marketing ‘The Slasher’, a 9-inch switchblade knife that comes with a radio/music player built right into the handle. (Well that’s certainly ‘cutting edge’, isn’t it?)
• In Norway, researchers have polled some 600 heart attack survivors and found that just prior to becoming ill, 89% experienced stress from … stupid co-workers. (No wonder I’m feeling chest pains this morning!)

Guess what? All the new technology that’s supposed to make work easier … doesn’t. 30 years ago, futurists predicted that by now, technology would bolster productivity to the point where we’d all be working half-days, 3 days a week. In fact, the exact opposite has occurred. StatsCan figures show the average number of hours has steadily risen and 1 in 4 Canadians now works more than 50 hours a week. Why? Today’s instant communications (text, e-mail, cellphone) have led to the expectation of instant action. A project that might have evolved over several weeks 20 years ago is now expected to be completed right away. (Don’t you always get a laugh over somebody acting oh-so-important when their cellphone rings in public? Hey loser, you aren’t cool … you’re shackled to your office!)
– CP

How did you pick your computer password? A recent VISA poll finds that 67% of passwords are easy-to-guess names or numbers. Password users can be divided into 4 main groups …
• ‘Family’ – 48% use names, nicknames, or birthdays of those closest to them. About a quarter use their OWN name or nickname.
• ‘Fans’ – 32% pick movie, sports, or cartoon stars for their password.
• ‘Fantasizers’ – 11% use spicy names they’d likely never be called, ie: ‘stud’, ‘sexpot’, etc.
• ‘Cryptics’ – The smallest group, typically computer geeks, are the most security conscious. They pick obscure passwords that mix letters, numbers, and punctuation in an attempt to confuse would-be hackers.
– Reuters

Sweating begins more quickly in physically fit people, and they produce more sweat than less fit people who are exercising at the same relative intensity. (Yeah, you look good … but you stink!)
– “San Diego Union-Tribune”
• Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet. (But only if the pole doesn’t slip through their flippers.)
– “National Geographic”


1943 [64] Randy Bachman (‘BACK-man’ not ‘BOCK-man’), Winnipeg MB, classic rock musician (BTO-“Takin’ Care of Business”, Guess Who-“American Woman”)

1951 [56] Meat Loaf (Marvin Lee Aday), Dallas TX, classic rock singer (“I’d Do Anything For Love”, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”)/sometime movie actor (“Fight Club”, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show“)

1964 [43] Stephan Jenkins, Oakland CA, rock singer (Third Eye Blind-“How’s It Going to Be”, “Jumper”)/pop singer Vanessa Carlton’s boyfriend

1972 [35] Gwyneth Paltrow, LA CA, movie actress (“Running With Scissors”, 1999 Oscar-“Shakespeare in Love”)/Mrs Chris Martin (Coldplay) since 2003 (2 children)

1978 [29] Brad Arnold, Escatawpa MS, pop singer (3 Doors Down-“Here Without You”, “When I’m Gone”)

1979 [29] Lil’ Wayne  (Dwayne Carter Jr), New Orleans LA, rapper (“Go DJ”, “Shine”)  FACTOID: He’s just been hit with another lawsuit accusing him of causing injuries when a melee occurred after he threw money into the crowd during a performance in Maryland LAST YEAR. It’s the second $1-million lawsuit he’s facing. Hey, happy birthday!

1984 [23] Avril Lavigne, Napanee ON, pop singer (“Girlfriend“, “Complicated”)/Mrs Deryck Whibley (Sum 41) since 2006

• “Ancestor Appreciation Day”, a day to learn about and appreciate one’s forebears. (Don’t forget to say, “Gee grampa, thanks for that really interesting story.”)

• “St Vincent de Paul Day” … the patron saint of used clothing?

• “World Maritime Day”, honoring the contribution the shipping industry makes to international commerce. Over 90% of all the world’s trade is carried onboard ships.

• “World Tourism Day”, as declared by the UN’s World Tourism Organization.

1954 [53] “The Tonight Show” debuts on NBC-TV, hosted by the late Steve Allen

1950 [57] 1st ‘Telephone Answering Machine’ (no one has reached a live voice since)

1881 [126] Major League Baseball records it’s all-time ‘Smallest Crowd’ (an intimate gathering of 12 fans show up to watch the Chicago White Stockings beat the Troy Trojans 10-8 in a rainstorm)

[Fri] Ask A Stupid Question Day
[Fri] Women’s Health & Fitness Day
[Fri] “Feast of Love”; “The Game Plan”; “The Kingdom”; “Lust, Caution”; “Postal”; “Trade” open in movie theaters
[Fri-Oct 7] Okanagan Fall Wine Festival (BC)
[Sat] Marc Anthony-Jennifer Lopez tour begins (Atlantic City NJ)
[Sat] Goose Day
[Sat] Pumpkin Day
[Sat] 2007 Directors Guild of Canada Awards (Toronto)
[Sat] Maroon 5 tour begins (Auburn Hills MI)
This Week Is … Chimney Safety Week
This Month Is … Women of Achievement Month


• “Top 10 Hollywood Gunfights” – FHM
• “Meow! The Sexiest Movie Catfights!” – Maxim
• “Renew Your Vows (Without Renewing Your Vows)” – Esquire
• “Just Because You’re Sweating Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Look Good” – Stuff
• “Sex Mistakes All Men Make” – Men’s Health

• “Men Reveal Their Favorite Mattress Moves!” – Cosmopolitan
• “Get Fit With Ballet!” – Woman’s Day
• “Demystifying the Meat Counter” – Chatelaine
• “Is Your Child Greedy?” – Ladies’ Home Journal
• “How to Make a Man Much Better in Bed” – “Glamour”

Q: Before 1900, what shape was ‘home plate’ in baseball – square, diamond-shaped, or round like a ‘plate’?
A: It was square like all the other bases. In 1900, it was elongated to aid umpires in calling balls and strikes. (If you ask most players, it hasn’t helped much.)

Q: What’s the hardest part of your body – your skull, the enamel on your teeth, or your abs?
A: Tooth enamel, which is harder than bone. (And MUCH harder than your abs of flab.)

• Which famous celebrity do you think should run for political office?
• Whose life would you like to live for one day?

Ever notice public television is only ‘commercial-free’ during those short periods of time when they’re not begging for money?

Today’s Question: The average age for a man doing THIS is 41; for a woman it’s 35.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Running a marathon. (“Women’s Health Magazine”)

No man is an island … but many are that large.

Leave a comment