September 21, 2007

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Friday, September 21, 2007       Edition: #3618
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

NBC-TV has announced it will soon offer free downloads of some its most popular programs (“Heroes”, “The Office“, etc) for a 1-week period after their air-date at its new online service called ‘NBC Direct’ (testing begins NEXT MONTH, downloads in NOVEMBER) . . . “Ugly Betty” actress Vanessa Williams is sticking up for troubled “High School Musical” actress Vanessa Hudgens, predicting she’ll bounce back from her recent nude photos scandal (Willams knows all about it after giving up the “Miss America” crown in 1984 due to racy pics) . . . Recently-posted Internet photos showing boxer-turned-singer Oscar De La Hoya in a series of raunchy poses while wearing a fishnet bodysuit, wig & high-heels are total fakes, according to his lawyer (well obviously, Oscar would never be so gauche as to wear heels with a bodysuit) . . . Cherie Blair, wife of former British prime minister Tony Blair, has signed a mega-deal with a UK publisher to pen her autobiography, cleverly titled “Cherie Blair: The Autobiography” (due NEXT FALL) . . . Organizers of the 2008 “Brit Awards” are reportedly lining up performances by cancer-survivor Kylie Minogue and former pop superstar Robbie Williams, who’ll attempt to make a dramatic return to the UK music scene (or maybe rehab) . . . And here’s how stars are discovered in the new hi-tech age – Chris Crocker, the video blogger who posted the “Leave Britney Alone” on MySpace & YouTube that scored nearly 8 million hits, has been signed to a development deal to create his own TV show (he’s only 19 & still lives at home with his grandparents).

• 50 Cent – His backstage rider includes a bucket of fried chicken, assorted candy … and ‘a hot tea set-up’.
• Led Zeppelin – More than a million fans have successfully registered in the 20,000-ticket lottery for their NOVEMBER 26th reunion concert at London’s O2 Arena. Fans randomly selected to receive tickets will be notified by OCTOBER 1st.
• Prince – He played a surprise concert THIS WEEK in the middle of designer Matthew Williamson’s catwalk show at “London Fashion Week”. He’s currently in the middle of playing back-to-back-to-back shows at London’s 02 Arena.

• Ben Harper – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Night With Conan O’ Brien” (NBC).
• “Cold Case” (CBS/CTV) – Throughout the 5th season premiere SUNDAY, 8 different Nirvana tunes will be featured on the soundtrack.
• Editors – TONIGHT the Birmingham UK indie rockers perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Foo Fighters – TODAY they appear on “MuchOnDemand” (MuchMusic).
• KT Tunstall – The Scots singer/songwriter flogs her new album “Drastic Fantastic” on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Rascal Flatts – TONIGHT is their annual charity concert in Nashville TN for the Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt University. In the past 2 years, they’ve raised $1.4 million for the cause.
• Rush – THIS WEEKEND is “RushCon 7”, the annual international convention put on by fans for fans in the band’s hometown of Toronto.
• The Shins – TOMORROW they’re the musical guests on a rerun of “Saturday Night Live”, hosted by movie actor Jake Gyllenhaal  (NBC). The band has a leading 3 nominations for the upcoming “2007 mtvU Woodie Awards” (NOVEMBER 8th), voted on by college students.
• “The Simpsons” (FOX/Global) – Although the 19th season reportedly opens SUNDAY with ‘Bart’ writing “I will not wait 20 years to make another movie” on a blackboard, no film sequel is currently in the works. Among the guest stars lending their voices to the new season: Jack Black, Jon Stewart, Lionel Richie, and Steve Buscemi.
• Velvet Revolver – TONIGHT they do “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).

• “Good Luck Chuck” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Dane Cook plays a womanizer who’s wildly popular with single women after it’s discovered that every girl he beds ends up finding her ‘Mr Right’ next. That’s fine with ‘Chuck’, until he finds his soul-mate (Jessica Alba) who is the one person he can’t sleep with or he’ll risk losing her to some other guy. Shot in Edmonton & Vancouver.
• “Into the Wild” ( R-Rated Adventure ): Emile Hirsch plays a bright young college grad who gives away everything he owns to live off of the land in the wilderness. Hirsch lost over 40 lbs during filming, which was so rigorous he jokes that he almost got a T-shirt reading “I survived Sean Penn” (who directed). Based on the bestselling non-fiction book by Jon Krakauer.
• “Resident Evil: Extinction” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): In this 3rd and final chapter of the horror franchise, Milla Jovovich returns to play super-human fighting machine ‘Alice’, who teams up with a bunch of outcasts in the Nevada desert to get rid of the nasty virus that’s turning the population into zombies. Shot entirely in Mexico.
• “Sydney White” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Amanda Bynes stars as a legacy sorority pledge who becomes disillusioned with her college’s social hierarchy so she bands together with a group of dorky outcasts in an attempt to shake things up. A modern version of the “Snow White” fable. Shot entirely in Florida.

Cellphone manufacturer Nokia has announced that its new model, the “6301”, features what’s called ‘Unlicensed Mobile Access’. The technology allows the phones to make calls over the Internet when they are within range of a wireless network, such as Bluetooth or Wi-Fi. When they move out of range, the connection automatically reverts to a regular mobile phone network. (“Ill call you back in a while … I’m going to Starbucks to phone mom in Italy.”)
– Reuters

Australian Kerry Dunlop is a ‘Part-time Ear-Wax Remover’. He notes that cerumen [‘seh-ROO-men’] or ear wax is produced by virtually everyone. While many of us might think our ears are clean, they often aren’t. After using a candle flame to suck the cerumen from ears, he’s found all kinds of items lodged in it, including tomato seeds, bits of crayon, and sawdust. Dunlop says the majority of his customers are between their late 50s and their 70s. (Mom was right, you really CAN grow potatoes in there!)
– “The Age”

British author Dan Kieran has compiled stories about really rotten occupations for his book “Idler Book of Crap Jobs”. Among the absolute worst jobs that he’s unearthed: ‘Turkey-Beheader’, ‘Pea Checker’ (or is that ‘Pee Checker’?), ‘Maggot Farmer’, and ‘Phone Sex Operator’. (What about ‘All-Day Radio Traffic Reporter’ or maybe … ‘Part-Time Ear-Wax Remover’?)
– “Social Studies”

Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia visited by 7% of Internet users every day, is attempting to improve the reliability of its content by only allowing only ‘trusted’ users to contribute and edit the live site. The German-language version will host a trial of the new restriction. If successful, it will be rolled out globally. (Whoa, this site could be in danger of containing actual facts!)
– “Times of London”

Ever wonder why smart women fall under the spell of such rotten guys, even when they know it won’t amount to more than a one-night stand? Turns out hormones are to blame. A recent University of Michigan study shows that women tend to view guys with very masculine physical traits as good flings, but not possible long-term loves. And guys with masculine features – a square jaw, well-defined brow ridges – have high levels of testosterone, which has been linked to male cheating and violence in relationships. So while the round-faced, full-lipped dude might not make you want to jump his bones before you know his name, he might actually make a better boyfriend. (There you go dweebs … we made your day!)
– “Cosmopolitan”

An Italian animal-rights group estimates that 60,000 black cats are killed in that country each year just because of the superstition that they bring bad luck. (Well, it’s certainly back luck for them!)

“I have, like, a million clothes and more than 500 pairs of shoes, so I’m going to give a bunch of them to orphanages and children’s hospitals. I never wear something twice.”
– Paris Hilton, proving what a swell person she’s become since serving prison time. (That’s really cool, but does she honestly think her size 11 shoes are gonna fit any kid?)


1934 [73] Leonard Cohen, Montréal QC, Canadian icon/songwriter (“Suzanne”, “Bird on a Wire”)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1991)/Companion of the Order of Canada (2003)
1947 [60] Stephen King, Portland ME, scary author (“Cell”, “The Shining”)/first major author to release books on the Internet

1950 [57] Bill Murray, Wilmette IL, movie actor (“Garfield”, “Lost in Translation”)

1967 [40] Faith Hill, Ridgeland MS, country superstar (“Red Umbrella”, “Mississippi Girl”)/movie actress (“Stepford Wives”, “Pearl Harbor”)/Mrs Tim McGraw since 1996 (3 children)

1967 [40] Tyler Stewart, Newmarket ON, pop drummer (Barenaked Ladies-“Easy”, “One Week”)

1971 [36] Luke Wilson, Dallas TX, movie actor (“3:10 to Yuma”, “Old School”)/brother of troubled movie actor Owen Wilson

1972 [35] Liam Gallagher, Manchester UK, rock singer/professional a–hole (Oasis-“Wonderwall”, “Don’t Look Back in Anger”)

1981 [26] Nicole Richie (Escovedo), Berkeley CA, 88-lb TV personality (“The Simple Life”)/adopted daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie who’s expecting a child via fiancé Joel Madden (Good Charlotte)/served about 5 minutes in prison for 2006 DUI conviction

Operatic tenor Andrea Bocelli (“The Prayer”) is 49; Classic rocker Joan Jett (“I Love Rock & Roll”) is 49; Movie actress Bonnie Hunt (“Cheaper by the Dozen”) is 46; Movie actor Tom Felton (“Harry Potter” films) is 20.

Crooner Julio Iglesias (Enrique’s dad) is 64; Rock singer Bruce Springsteen (“Born to Run”) is 58; TV actor Jason Alexander (“Seinfeld”) is 48; Music producer Jermaine Dupri (Janet Jackson/Mariah Carey) is 35.

• “International Day of Peace”, established by a 1981 UN resolution. In conjunction, events are planned in 30 countries for the “Global Mala Project”, an effort to use yoga-centered events to raise awareness & funds for global causes. Among the celebs participating are model Christy Turlington, workout guru Russell Simmons, and reggae artist Ziggy Marley.
• “Miniature Golf Day”. The first mini-golf was the ‘Tom Thumb Golf Course’ built in 1929 in Chattanooga TN by John Garnet Carter. Nowadays there’s a ‘Professional Miniature Golf Association’ that holds the ‘PMGA Championship’ each year.
• “POW/MIA Recognition Day”, a day of remembrance and hope for the safe return of prisoners of war and those missing in action, observed annually on the 3rd Friday of September.
• “World Gratitude Day”, designed to ‘unite all people in a positive emotion of gratitude, creating a world community’. (Brought to you by the ‘Association of the Hopelessly Overly-Optimistic’.)
• “Yom Kippur” or “Day of Atonement” begins at sundown, one of the most solemn Jewish holidays. Those who don’t regularly observe other holidays often make an exception for this one. To emphasize feelings of humility, eating & drinking, bathing, anointing (applying creams & lotions), sex, and wearing leather shoes are prohibited for the day.

• “Centenarians Day”, honoring those who’ve lived 100 years or more … which will soon be most of us!
• “Dear Diary Day”, a day to ‘put it on paper because it’ll make you feel better’. (Same goes for your new puppy.)
• “Elephant Appreciation Day”, celebrating the world’s most interesting & noble endangered land animal.
• “Hobbit Day”, commemorating JRR Tolkein and the birthdays of his characters ‘Frodo’ & ‘Bilbo Baggins’. On this date in the year 3001 of the 3rd Age, Shire Reckoning, the 2 characters celebrated their shared birthday. ‘Bilbo’ was 111 and ‘Frodo’ was 33.
• “Hunting & Fishing Day”, the 36th annual observance to create awareness of the ‘important role that outdoorsmen and women play in conservation and improving our natural resources’.
• “International Rabbit Day”, observed annually on the 4th Saturday in September. Let’s see, what would rabbits do to celebrate?
• “Oktoberfest”, the 174th annual world famous beer bash in humongous fest halls in Munich, Germany through October 7th.

• “Autumn” officially arrives at 5:51 am EDT. Down Under, “Spring” begins in the Southern Hemisphere.
• “Good Neighbor Day”, observed on the 4th Sunday in September when we’re encouraged to say thank-you to a good neighbor and to be one ourselves. What if you can’t find one?

1937 [70] JRR Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” is first published

1985 [22] “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straits reaches #1 on pop singles charts

1929 [78] 1st legal ‘Forward Pass’ in Canadian football (by Calgary vs Edmonton)

1995 [12] Canadian Mint unveils design for new $2-coin that includes a polar bear (soon becomes known as the ‘toony’, twony, ‘toonie’, ‘tooney’ or ‘twonie’ – how do YOU spell it?)

1970 [37] 1st “Monday Night Football” game on ABC-TV as NY Jets beat Cleveland Browns 31-21 (Who’s in the booth? Play-by-play announcer Keith Jackson, analyst Don Meredith & commentator Howard Cosell)

2003 [04] Detroit Tigers lose their 117th game of the season vs Minnesota Twins, tying the futility record set by the Philadelphia Athletics … in 1915 (things have turned around!)

[Mon] Polaris Music Prize (Toronto)
[Tues] One-Hit-Wonder Day
[Tues] Comic Book Day
[Tues] Chinese Moon Festival
[Wed] Food Service Employees Day
[Wed] Full Moon (Harvest Moon)
[Thurs] Van Halen reunion tour begins (Charlotte NC)
[Thurs] World Tourism Day
This Week Is … Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week
This Month Is … Bed Check Month


• If an older woman marries a younger man she’s ‘robbing the cradle’. So if a younger woman marries an older man is it ‘robbing the casket’?
• If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
• If the #2 pencil is the most popular, how come it’s still #2?
• Can a funeral home blame a price increase on the ‘cost of living’?
• Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

2002 “Amazing Race” winner Alex Boylan is the star of a new Web-based reality show called “Around The World For Free” in which he’s attempting to circumnavigate the globe without any money in what’s touted as the first ‘Multi-platform Interactive Reality Travel Show’.

I once asked my mom if I was a gifted child, and she said she certainly wouldn’t have paid.

Today’s Question: The average person does THIS 70 times a day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Complain.

Behind every great musician was a next-door neighbor saying, “Man, I wish they’d shut up.”

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