Tuesday, September 18, 2007        Edition: #3615
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
If you thought the “Monday Night Football” theme sounded different, you were right as Hank Williams Jr is now backed up by Brian Setzer & a band that includes Richie Sambora (Bon Jovi), Gretchen Wilson, John Ondrasik (Five For Fighting), and Cindy Blackman (Lenny Kravitz) . . . Britney Spears has been banned from the exclusive restaurant at the Chateau Marmont hotel in LA after fellow guests complained she smeared food all over her face, which led to her being tossed out (y’know, maybe she should just never leave her house) . . . Movie star Michael Douglas says he spent the summer teaching his 7-year-old son Dylan how to water-ski on a lake in Canada – that he owns (he may be a 62-year-old geezer now but as a young kid he used to teach water-skiing in Connecticut) . . . Jessica Simpson’s plans to go country have been given a boost as Willie Nelson has agreed to pen tracks for her next album (he likely still  feels sorry for her after co-starring with her in “Dukes of Hazzard”) . . . And “Grey’s Anatomy” actress Katherine Heigl [‘HI-gull’] is so close to co-star TR Knight that she’s planning her wedding later THIS YEAR to  fiancé-singer Josh Kelley around his work schedule (just like on the show, ‘George & ‘Izzy’ are best buds!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Diana Krall – TODAY the multiple Grammy-winning jazz artist releases her new greatest hits album, “The Very Best of Diana Krall”, which includes 3 tracks previously unavailable.
• James Blunt – TODAY he guests on both the “Today Show” (NBC) and “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Led Zeppelin — Fans have been given 2 extra days (till Wednesday) to register for the ticket lottery for their upcoming London concert. urged to “be patient” following the staggering demand for tickets to see the rockers reunite. The deadline was extended after 25 million people attempted to gain access to the official website on SUNDAY alone.
• KT Tunstall – THIS MORNING she’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly (syndicated/CTV).
• Reba McEntire – TODAY her new CD, “Reba Duets”, is released. It features collaborations with the likes of Don Henley, Faith Hill, Justin Timberlake, Kelly Clarkson (“Because of You”), Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flatts, Ronnie Dunn, Trisha Yearwood, and Vince Gill.
• Also released TODAY – “Love Is The Song We Sing: San Francisco Nuggets 1965-1970“, a 4-CD box set celebrating the 40th anniversary of the ‘Summer of Love’; “Save The Children“, a benefit collection of music from the TV series “House”, including tunes from Ben Harper, Elvis Costello, Sarah McLachlan plus the pickup ‘Band From TV, fronted by series star Hugh Laurie, doing a cover o the Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• “Beauty & the Geek 3” (CW) – It’s not that Ashton Kutcher productions are all that good, it’s just that there are a whole lot of channels to fill these days. That would be the only explanation why this lame competition featuring hopeless nerds battling over a real hottie is back for a third go-round.
• “Dream Concert“ – This benefit concert at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall for the “Martin Luther King Jr National Memorial” in Washington DC features performances by Aretha Franklin, Carlos Santana, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Ludacris, Stevie Wonder, Usher, and Wyclef Jean. Tickets are priced at $250-to-$1,000.
• “Elvis, Viva Las Vegas” (ABC) – This 2-hour special chronicles Elvis’s life during his Vegas stage show years. It includes interviews with Priscilla Presley, plays performances by Beyoncé, Celine Dion, Daughtry, Faith Hill, 50 Cent, Miranda Lambert, Joe Perry (Aerosmith), Toby Keith, Paul McCartney, Patty Scialfa, and Willie Nelson. The excuse for the show is the 30th anniversary of  Presley’s death.
• “The Simpsons: Testify” – This TV series soundtrack, being released just ahead of SUNDAY’s 19th season opening show, collects over 3 dozen original songs from the past 9 seasons of the animated comedy, including the ditties “Everybody Hates Ned Flanders”, “Springfield Blows”, and “Welcome to Moe’s” by the likes of Jackson Browne, the B-52s, and Weird Al Yankovic.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “BloodRayne 2: Deliverance” ( Action Fantasy ): This straight-to-DVD sequel stars Natassia Malthe as the half-human/half-vampire warrior that is humankind’s only hope against the advancing vampire race. This time she battles a group of vampire cowboys in the town of Deliverance, Montana. Shot in Vancouver & Maple Ridge BC.
• “The Condemned” ( Action ): Pro wrestler-turned-actor ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin plays a death row inmate who’s offered an unusual opportunity – the chance for a full pardon by winning a huge battle royale among other convicted killers while the entire event is being  captured for a reality TV show. Not surprisingly, a production of WWE Films. Shot in Vancouver BC and Queensland, Australia.
• “Death Proof” ( Horror Thriller ):  Director Quentin Tarantino’s half of the failed “Grindhouse” double-bill collaboration with Robert Rodriguez stars Kurt Russell as a serial killing maniac who stalks beautiful women. It’s intended as an homage to the seedy, low-budget films of the 1970s-era. Rosario Dawson co-stars. Also available in a “Grindhouse Presents Death Proof: Extended & Unrated 2-Disc Special Edition”.
• “A Dog’s Breakfast” ( Comedy ): David Hewlett wrote, directed & stars in this black comedy about a dysfunctional family that solves its spats with deadly force. Unfortunately, they’re as bad at committing murder as everything else. Shot in Vancouver & Burnaby BC.
• “Lucky You” ( Drama ): Eric Bana plays a hotshot card player who learns a lot about life from a wannabe lounge singer (Drew Barrymore) and runs into his estranged father (Robert Duvall) while competing in the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas.
• “Two Weeks” ( Dramedy ): Sally Field stars in this story about 4 adult siblings who gather at their dying mother’s house in North Carolina for what they expect to be a quick final goodbye. Instead, they find themselves trapped together for 2 whole weeks.
• “We Are Marshall” ( Sports Drama ): After a plane crash claims the lives of most of a college football team, the new coach (Matthew McConaughey) & the school’s dean (David Strathairn) try to keep the program alive. Based on real-life events at Marshall University in Huntington WV in 1970. The film’s title is taken from the school’s most popular cheer at sporting events.
• Also released TODAY: “Brothers & Sisters: The Complete 1st Season”; “Deliverance (35th Anniversary Deluxe Edition)”; “Flashdance (Special Collector’s Edition)”; “Keith Richards Under Review”, a 2-hour documentary detailing the life & career of the Rolling Stones’ guitarist; “Saturday Night Fever: Special Collector’s Edition”; and “Wall Street: 20th Anniversary Edition”.

ROAD TRIP:
Hardware techies at Apple are regularly sent from California for intense 2-week shifts to the city-sized FoxConn factory in Shenzhen, China where iPods are made and tested. Internally at Apple, this is known as ‘being sent to Mordor’, referring to the dwelling place of ‘Sauron’ in JRR Tolkien’s fictional universe of Middle Earth.
– PopBitch.com

WILL WORK FOR MONEY:
The National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago has discovered the shocking news that people who earn more than $110,000 per year are more satisfied with their jobs than people who earn less than $12,500 per year.
– LiveScience.com

WE PREDICT NONE OF THESE WORK:
Looking to see into your future? When all else fails, try one of these arcane methods: ‘Scarpomancy’ (predicting someone’s future by studying their old shoes); ‘Tiromancy’ (studying a piece of cheese); ‘Scatomancy’ (examining your own poop); ‘Uromancy’ (examining your own pee); and ‘Bibliomancy’ (opening the Bible randomly and reading the first passage you see to get your fortune).
– “Bathroom Reader”

LITTLE BROTHER REALLY IS LITTLE:
Children with older siblings are at risk of impaired growth in early life, according to a new study. Stats show that, in families of 4 children, the younger brothers & sisters are normally about 1 inch (2.5 cm) shorter than average, with the youngest child being most affected.
– “The Guardian”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Never feed chocolate to a parrot. They die.

BS CHRONOMETER 09.18.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [74] Robert Blake (Michael Gubitosi), Nutley NJ, former TV actor (“Baretta” 1975-78)/movie actor (“In Cold Blood”) who was acquitted in 2005 of the 2001 murder of his wife.

1939 [68]  Fred Willard, Shaker Heights OH, TV actor (sportscaster ‘Marsh McGinley’ in the new Kelsey Grammar sitcom “Back to You”)/movie actor (“Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy“)

1961 [46] James Gandolfini, Westwood NJ, TV actor (“The Sopranos” 1999-2007)/movie actor (“All the King’s Men”, “Get Shorty”)/documentary producer (“Alive Day Memories: Home from Iraq”)

1971 [36] Jada Pinkett Smith, Baltimore MD, movie actress (“Madagascar”, “The Matrix 2 & 3”)/Mrs Will Smith since 1997 (he’s 6′-2”, she’s 5′-nuthin’)  IN THE WORKS: Reprises her voice-over role as ‘Gloria’ in the animated comedy “Madagascar 2: The Crate Escape”, now filming for release in 2008.

1971 [36] Lance Armstrong, Plano TX, only cyclist to win Tour De France 7 times (which he did consecutively … after battling cancer yet)/dumped fiancée Sheryl Crow in 2005

1973 [34] James Marsden, Stillwater OK, movie actor (“Hairspray”, “X-Men 1-3”)

1974 [33] Xzibit (Alvin Joiner), Detroit MI, movie actor (“Gridiron Gang”, “xXx: State of the Union”)/TV host (“Pimp My Ride” 2004-06)/rapper (“X”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cheeseburger Day“, celebrating the best way to get 2 kinds of cattle fat into your system simultaneously. According to the book “Hamburger Heaven: The Illustrated History of the Hamburger”, the first person to ever slap cheese on a burg’ was grill chef Lionel Sternberger at the Rite Spot restaurant in Pasadena CA 81 years ago in 1926. When he attached cheese to ground beef, he not only made sure Jimmy Buffett would have something to warble about, he got us all hooked on the invention!

• “National Play-Doh Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the modeling clay first marketed by the Kenner Company in 1955.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1927 [80] Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System, later known as CBS, debuts with a basic network of 16 radio stations

1985 [22] First-ever ‘Top 10 List’ on “Late Night with David Letterman” is titled ‘Top 10 Things That Almost Rhyme With Peas’. And, for what it’s worth, here it is: 10. Heats 9. Rice 8. Moss 7. Ties 6. Needs 5. Lens 4. Ice 3. Nurse 2. Leaks 1. Meats (maybe it’s in the delivery?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1970 [37] Guitar legend Jimi Hendrix dies in London at age 27 after taking 9 sleeping pills

2004 [03] Britney Spears weds Kevin Federline in a low-key ceremony at a private home in Studio City CA, her 2nd wedding in 9 months

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1851 [156] 1st edition of “New York Times” costs 2 cents (“All the News That’s Fit to Print”)

1895 [112] 1st ‘Chiropractor’ (Canadian-born David Daniel Palmer in Davenport, Iowa) FACTOID: Some 30 million ‘back adjustments’ are now performed in Canada annually

1999 [08] 1st husband & wife to swap genders, each undergoing a sex-change operation in Hungary

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Talk Like a Pirate Day
[Thurs] International Student Day
[Thurs] UN International Day of Peace
[Fri] Miniature Golf Day
[Fri] World Gratitude Day
[Sat] Yom Kippur (Jewish)
[Sun] 1st day of Autumn
This Week Is … Balance Awareness Week
This Month Is … Pleasure Your Mate Month

BULL’S BITS

WOULD YOU RATHER?
You run down the list while your guest/phone caller/crew decides which choice is more palatable. Would you rather …
• Have to swim 1 mile in a 3-piece suit OR run 100 yards wearing a full suit of armor?
• Be the circus person that the knife thrower throws knives at OR the one who puts their head in the lion’s mouth?
• Be able to walk on water forever OR fly for 3 hours on 3 different occasions in your life?
• Chew on a wild rat’s severed tail for half-an-hour OR brush your teeth with a toothbrush from a prison’s community toothbrush bowl?
• Be constantly depressed OR be constantly afraid?
• Be accused of discriminating against someone because of age OR because of gender?
• Have cheated on your spouse and have nobody know OR have not cheated at all but have everyone think you had?
• Age only from the neck up OR age only from the neck down?
• Be stupid and rich OR be smart and poor?
• Catch a porcupine thrown from a 2nd-story window OR a skunk thrown from the same window?

BS PHONE STARTER:
Aston Martin, the luxury sports car, has just been named the ‘coolest brand in Britain’ in a nationwide poll. So what’s the coolest brand in Canada? (We like ‘Motomaster’.)
(We like ‘B.U.M.’)

BS BEFORE FAME GAME:
Before they were stars which job did the following celebs have?
• Which was Pamela Anderson’s (“Borat”) first gig?
a. Fitness Instructor in Vancouver. [CORRECT]
b. Exotic Dancer in Nanaimo.
c. Oil, Lube & Filter Technician in Ladysmith.

• Movie actress Michelle Pfeiffer (“Stardust”) once had a job as …
a. Grocery Store Cashier [CORRECT]
b. Foot Model for Shoe Catalogues
c. Masseuse

• Country superstar Kenny Chesney was once a …
A. Semi-Pro Basketball Player
B. Valet Parking Attendant [CORRECT]
C. Male Stripper

• TV actress Calista Flockhart (“Brothers & Sisters”) earned money as …
a. ‘After’ Model in Diet Ads
b. Bouncer
c. Aerobics Instructor [CORRECT]

• Which of these did Sting (Police) once do?
a. School Teacher.
b. Soccer Coach
c. Ditch Digger
(Trick question. He did ‘em all!)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 1 in every 6 moms has one of THESE in her family.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A favorite child.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Beware of geeks bearing gifs.