Wednesday, September 21, 2022 — Edition: #7315
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kelly Clarkson has officially been honored with a Hollywood star. The first “American Idol” was celebrated Monday, surrounded by her team, friends, colleagues and her 2 children — 8-year-old daughter River Rose and son Remington, who is 6. The Walk of Fame ceremony also saw all 3 of Idol’s original judges reunite. Twenty years after Clarkson was crowned the first winner of the singing competition show by judges Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson, they joined forces once again to pay tribute to the contestant that “validated” the show. In a press release, Cowell said: “Where we were very lucky with Kelly was that not only could we find someone with a hell of a good voice, but she also had this amazing sense of humor, personality, charisma”, and noted that the show wouldn’t have gained popularity without Clarkson. Paula Abdul also spoke during the ceremony, as did Clarkson herself, who said: “There are dreams you didn’t know you had and they end up happening and you feel super blessed.”
★ If you’ve ever wondered why Kevin Smith’s film “Dogma” isn’t streaming anywhere – the director has an answer for you – Harvey Weinstein. Smith noted in a recent interview that the rights to his 1999 religious satire starring, among others, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, are currently being held “hostage” by disgraced producer Harvey Weinstein. And Smith said that for the longest time, “I don’t think he realized that he still owned that movie.” At one point, Weinstein finally approached the director about creating a Dogma TV series or sequel, but those plans were scrapped when Weinstein was embroiled in scandal. Since then, Smith says he has tried to buy back the rights, but says Weinstein was asking for too much. Or, as he put it: “My movie about angels is owned by the devil himself.”
★ Christmas has come early for Hallmark Media. Soap star Alison Sweeney (also star of Hallmark’s “The Wedding Veil” trilogy) has agreed to a multi-picture deal with the channel. As part of it, she’ll be starring in “A Magical Christmas Village”, which she also executive produces with Luke Macfarlane and guest star Marlo Thomas. The movie premieres this year during Hallmark Channel’s annual ‘Countdown to Christmas’ programming event and features Sweeney as ‘Summer’, an architect living in a small town where she’s raising her young daughter. When her mother moves in, she finds her orderly life turned upside down. Sweeney also hosted 13 seasons of NBC’s “The Biggest Loser”.
★ Apparently, Malibu is big enough for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, or at least she thinks so, since she just spent a fortune on a gorgeous home there — one with a supermodel past. The 7,400-sq-foot estate sits on a well-protected bluff overlooking the Pacific, and the Mediterranean style mansion has 4 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms and an endless number of killer views. KK spent a reported $70 million for the spread — which includes lots of outdoor spaces for entertaining, dining or swimming. The previous owner is Adam Weiss, a Silicon Valley hedge fund manager, who paid $45 mil when he bought it from Cindy Crawford just 4 years ago. It’s about 14 miles up the coast from the $57 million home Ye is currently remodeling.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): John Boyega, Tyler James Williams, Weezer
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Eli Manning, Ana Fabrega, Michael Rowland
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Olivia Wilde, Dmytro Kuleba
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Billy Eichner, Beth Ditto, Craig Reynolds
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Tyra Banks, Yvonne Orji, David Blaine
• “The Daily Show” (COM): Beto O’Rourke
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dorit Kemsley, Garcelle Beauvais
• The View” (ABC/CTV): Billy Eichner, Neil deGrasse Tyson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kyle MacLachlan, Ilana Pena
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Tyler Perry, Gabby Windey, Rachel Recchia
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Olivia Wilde, Jo Koy
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Lea Michele, Danny DeVito, Lucy DeVito
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Connie Britton
• “Sherri” (Check local listings): Jenifer Lewis
• “The Conners” (ABC): Season 5 premiere. To save money, Darlene and Ben join Jackie and Neville on a joint honeymoon; Dan, Becky, Harris, Mark and Beverly Rose go to a water park.
• “Survivor” (CBS): Season 43 premiere. 18 new castaways come together to form their own society and begin their quest for $1 million.
• “The Masked Singer” (Fox): Season 8 premiere. 4 celebs perform, with only one selected to move on to next week.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lil Nas X — Over the weekend, as fans waited to enter Boston’s MGM Music Hall for his show, a group of religious protesters gathered across the street, asking them to “repent” with massive signs. In true Lil Nas X fashion, he turned it into a positive, tweeting, “Just told my team to send them pizza, this is really good promo!” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/58n66bxj
• Lewis Capaldi — has been having issues with dating apps recently. In an interview, he said: “I’ve just been kicked off Tinder because…people think I’m fake.” He went on to say that he’s now been “kicked off” 3 matchmaking services, also including Bumble and Hinge. He misses Hinge the most, because “I feel like mid-20s, that’s what people are on.”
• Lorde — teased the possibility of new music during her headlining set at Primavera Sound in LA on Friday. While running through the themes of her last 3 albums, she told the crowd: “Who knows what will come next? Well, I know. And you’ll know sometime soon.”
• Metallica – has announced its 3rd “Helping Hands Concert & Auction”. The group’s All Within My Hands foundation, focused on tackling issues including hunger and workforce education, will present the Dec. 16 show at the Microsoft Theater in LA. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p8a7ft2
• Journey — will commemorate the 40th anniversary of the recording of the hit ‘Faithfully’ with its inclusion as the featured song on the season premiere of the comedy “The Goldbergs” tonight. Keyboardist Jonathan Cain, who wrote the song, said: “We’re big fans of the show and hope our fans enjoy hearing one of our biggest hits in the episode.”
• Luke Bryan – recently experienced a full-circle moment with Jameson Rodgers. While performing at in Indiana as part of his Farm Tour, he invited opening act Rodgers to join him in singing ‘Born Here, Live Here, Die Here’, which Rodgers wrote. The song became the title track of Bryan’s 2020 album.
• Kane Brown – is this year’s recipient of the Champion of Youth Award, which will be presented to him at the 75th National Youth of the Year Ceremony. He’s being recognized for his contributions to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, including a generous donation to renovate the gym at the organization’s facility in Cleveland. Afterward, he visited the gym and spent time with kids there.
• Tim McGraw — Tim McGraw took a low bow to greet fans during his set at Boots in the Park in Tempe AZ, and ended up taking a slow tumble backward, right off the stage. He made the best of it, falling into the arms of his security guards, then using the moment as a chance to hug some fans. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/594hwxc8
SHOOTING THE BULL
Awkward! Some buyers of Apple’s pricey new iPhone 14 Pro lineup say they’re experiencing bizarre problems with the smartphone’s cameras. It appears the problem is only affecting the iPhone Pro and Pro Max cameras when users open apps such as Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat. A YouTube video shows an iPhone 14 Pro Max’s camera vibrating uncontrollably with the TikTok app open. The phone also produces a strange rattling sound. Dozens of Reddit users complained about the issue on a forum for iPhone users. And a few social media users said they were able to exchange their damaged phones for a new one. Apple says a software update, to be released next week, will correct the issue. LINK: https://youtu.be/9wku5Eff4XU
(I guess it doesn’t have ‘autocorrect’?)
(Great. THIS is what I can expect in 8 years, when I finally get one?)
➢ A study of 1,000 dog owners and 1,000 cat owners found that we spend an average of $276.40 on our furry pals each month, which adds up to $3,316.80 annually. When people splurge on their pets, they tend to go all out. In the poll, owners said they had bought trendy items for their pets, such as all-natural pet food (38%), raw pet food (31%), a modified home like a “catio” (29%), pet-friendly baked goods and desserts (28%), and pet tech like a smart collar (25%). (We have 3 cats and a dog…and I’m afraid to do the math!)
➢ Dogs are more likely to respond to words like “treat” than to the sound of their own name, according to their owners. In a survey of 2,000 puppy parents, 52% said their dog comes running when it hears the words “treat” or “cookie”. Only 37% consistently respond to the sound of their own name. (Owners of dogs named “Cookie” reported their mutt to be very confused!)
If you drink coffee, then you’ll identify with this. Three in 4 coffee drinkers say they wouldn’t be able to go a single day without their mug of joe. That’s according to a poll of 2,000 coffee-drinkers. Other findings in the OnePoll survey: We average 2 cups a day, each taking about 21 minutes to finish. And we refuse to pay more than $3 for a regular-size brew. And what do we like to enjoy alongside our coffee? Chocolate is the most popular thing to pair with it, enjoyed by 43% of coffee enthusiasts, followed by breads (34%), cheeses (31%) and fruits (26%). And maybe most tellingly of how important coffee is to those who “know”, when it comes to what parts of our usual routine we’d give up in order to relax and enjoy a cuppa, more than a third (34%) said they’d give up checking email. Watching the news came second (32%), followed by exercising (30%), morning meditation (30%), hair grooming/styling (28%) and even brushing teeth (25%).
(I’ve gotta admit it, on a Sunday morning, it’s “all of the above”!)
(You’ll notice no one said they’d give up their smart phone for coffee!)
MOVIES YOU CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER:
There are just some movies that, for whatever reason, you can watch again and again and still love…
☞ “Casablanca” (1942): Maybe you’ve never seen this classic. “It’s old!” “It’s in black and white!” Put your concerns aside and give it a shot this weekend. Bogart and Bergman are awesome, and the film is one of the finest ever made. (It could be “the beginning of a beautiful friendship”…)
☞ “The Sandlot” (1993): Aside from that stupid chase scene that just goes on forever…this could be the perfect kids film. It’s genuinely funny, touching and timeless. And people of any age can enjoy it, because it’s so relatable.
☞ “Star Wars – A New Hope IV” (1977): For some, any (or all) Star Wars films could make this list. But this is the original. We easily take for granted how ingeniously complex a world – or galaxy! – they created back in the late ’70. The movies were groundbreaking, and a lot of fun.
☞ “The Big Lebowski” (1998): Not only is it the perfect film to watch again and again because its plot is actually rather complex, it also features some of the best characters ever. You could watch The Dude, Walter and Donny discuss paint drying and it would be amazing. (Plus, it would “really tie the room together”!)
☞ “The Shawshank Redemption” (1994): Why is it so endlessly watchable? Well, it was adapted from a novella by none other than Stephen King, it’s a simply compelling story, it was directed by 3-time Oscar nominee Frank Darabont. And it stars Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins. That pretty much does it. (What movies can you watch repeatedly?)
DID YOU KNOW?
Oktoberfest, the world’s largest beer festival, kicked off on Saturday in Munich, Germany, for the first time since 2019, before the pandemic. Thousands sporting “Lederhosen”, or leather trousers — a mainstay of Bavarian culture — flocked to the event that attracts around 6 million visitors each year. Revelers sit at long communal tables to swig beer, eat sausages, pretzel or pork knuckle, and listen to oompah bands. Oktoberfest, taking place Sept. 17-Oct. 3, is happening without any COVID-19 restrictions. (Septemberfest?)
BS CHRONOMETER 09.21.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Last Full Day of Summer” in the Northern Hemisphere (sniff!), as Autumn officially arrives tomorrow.
• “Escapology Day”, on the anniversary of the date in 1912 when Houdini first performed his Water Torture Cell escape. The day celebrates escapologists, those artists, magicians, daredevils, and stage performers who escape from restraints and other traps such as straitjackets, handcuffs, cages, and coffins, sometimes several of these at once.
• “Miniature Golf Day”. The first mini-golf was the “Tom Thumb Golf Course” built in 1929 in Chattanooga TN. Nowadays there’s a ‘Professional Miniature Golf Association’ that holds the “PMGA Championship” each year.
• “School Backpack Awareness Day”, The American Occupational Therapy Association created this occasion to help prevent injuries to the back, neck, and shoulders that can occur from carrying heavy backpacks. But it’s not all about backpacks — suitcases, briefcases, and large purses are focused on as well. (A heavy backpack also makes it tough to sit in the school bus!)
• “Pecan Cookie Day”, whether you prefer butter pecan, caramel pecan, orange pecan, or maple pecan cookies, enjoy a delicious treat today! (One of each, please!)
• “Pause the World Day”, sirens, television, computers, printers, car stereos, endless talking — Most of us accept daily racket as normal. We rarely experience true silence, but that can help you get in touch with your emotions, provide you with a sense of calm, and leave you feeling rejuvenated (or just make you notice that ringing in your ears….)
• “World Peace Day, as declared by the United Nations, “devoted to commemorating and strengthening the ideals of peace both within and among all nations and peoples.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mydtywwy
• “World Alzheimer’s Day”, an annual observance to raise awareness about Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p8wbk8p
• “World Gratitude Day”, to ‘unite all people in a positive emotion of gratitude, creating a world community’. Recent research indicates that feelings of gratitude may be the key to happiness. (So, show some gratitude, DAMMIT!)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Fall arrives (9:03pm EDT)
[Thurs] Business Women’s Day
[Fri] Celebrate Bisexuality Day
[Sat] Museum Day
This Week is…Singles Week
This Month is…Chicken Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947  Stephen King, Portland ME, scary fiction author (“Carrie”, “The Shining”)
1950  Bill Murray, Wilmette IL, movie actor (“Lost in Translation”, “Groundhog Day”)
1957  Ethan Coen, St Louis Park MN, filmmaker (Coen Bros-“True Grit”, “No Country For Old Men”)
1959  Dave Coulier, St. Clair Shores MI, TV actor (‘Joey Gladstone’ on “Full House” 1987-95, “Fuller House” 2016-20)
1967  Faith Hill, Ridgeland MS, country singer (‘This Kiss’, ‘Breathe’)/married to Tim McGraw since 1996
1967  Tyler Stewart, Toronto ON, pop drummer (Barenaked Ladies-‘One Week’, ‘If I had $1,000,000’)
1968  Ricki Lake, Hastings-on-Hudson NY, TV host (“The Ricki Lake Show” 2012, “Ricki Lake” 1993-2004)/movie actress (“Hairspray”, “Serial Mom”)
1971  Luke Wilson, Dallas TX, movie actor (“Old School”, “Legally Blonde”)/brother of Owen Wilson)
1971  Alfonso Ribeiro, The Bronx NY, TV actor (‘Carlton Banks’ on “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” 1990-1996), TV host (“America’s Funniest Home Videos” since 2015)/season 19 winner on “Dancing with the Stars”)
1972  Liam Gallagher, Manchester England, rock singer (Oasis-‘Wonderwall’, ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’)
1981  Nicole Richie, Berkeley CA, reality star (“The Simple Life” 2003-07, “Candidly Nicole” 2014-15)/daughter of Lionel Richie
1989  Jason Derulo, Miami FL, R&B singer-songwriter (‘Whatcha Say’, ft. 2 Chainz-‘Talk Dirty’)
1991  Ingrid Andress, Southfield MI, country singer (‘More Hearts Than Mine’, w/Sam Hunt-‘Wishful Drinking’)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1970  “Monday Night Football” premieres on ABC – Browns 31, Jets 21
2001  27 TV networks air “America: A Tribute to Heroes”, a benefit for families of 9/11 victims, from NYC & LA. Performers include Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young, Paul Simon, Billy Joel, Tom Petty, and Willie Nelson.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2011  R.E.M. announce they’re calling it quits after more than 30 years. A website post says: “We walk away with a great sense of gratitude, of finality, and of astonishment at all we have accomplished. To anyone who ever felt touched by our music, our deepest thanks for listening.”
2012  When Green Day’s set is cut short at the iHeartRadio festival in Las Vegas, Billie Joe Armstrong goes into an f-bomb-laced rant before smashing his guitar and leaving the stage. He checks into rehab 2 days later.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1985  Little-known 24-year-old actor George Clooney makes his first appearance as a handyman on “The Facts of Life” (He goes on to appear in 17 episodes)
2016  Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan pledge $3 billion to medical research to “cure, prevent or manage all diseases by the end of the century” (one wonders if this includes “Facebook addiction”…)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1982  Albert McReynolds catches a record 78½-pound striped bass off Atlantic City NJ
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The highest wave ever surfed was as tall as a 10-story building.
✓ To cook an egg, a sidewalk needs to be 158°F (70°C).
✓ A ‘Jiffy’ is actually 1/100th of a second.
✓ A million Earths would fit inside the Sun.
✓ The US National Hot Dog and Sausage Council ruled that hot dogs aren’t sandwiches.
✓ The more features your phone has, the more time you spend in the bathroom.
Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’VE HIRED THE WRONG MARRIAGE COUNSELOR:
(***CAUTION – LANGUAGE***)
• Framed degree on the wall reads ‘Doctor of Swingology’.
• He has a nude picture of your wife on his desk.
• Her latest book: “Women Are From Venus, Men Are Lyin’ Bastards”.
• After you’ve earned enough session points, you get to choose either a Louisville Slugger or a Taser.
• He sums up by saying “Ms. Smith, I believe your husband is correct. You are a whiny bitch.”
• Her last name has 6 hyphens.
-TopFive, first published in BS in 2012
BS CONFUSING WEDDING INVITATION ATTIRE INSTRUCTIONS:
• Seminude semiformal
• Upper West Side farmhouse
• Winter heatwave
• Extreme black tie
• Closed Rust Belt factory
• Hypodermic needle beach casual
• Saharan water park
• Men without hats
• International Space Station urban
• Ecuadorian nonsensical
• Comfortable but not too comfortable
• Full Kryptonian marriage garb
• Roaring ’20s but two months after the crash
• The second-fanciest outfit from Beyonce’s Formation video
-McSweeney’s, first published in BS in 2017
BS WOULD YOU RATHER?
(***You run down the list while your caller decides which choice is more palatable …***)
• Would you rather be rich and famous but ridiculed or be just a normal person?
• Would you rather be an amazing painter or a brilliant mathematician?
• Would you rather be invisible or have X-ray vision?
• Would you rather never be stuck in traffic again or never get another cold?
• Would you rather have a self-filling fridge or a bottomless gas tank?
• Would you rather be forced to eat only spicy food or only incredibly bland food?
• Would you rather always wear comfortable clothes or always wear fashionable clothes?
• Would you rather have a flying carpet or a car that can drive underwater?
• Would you rather never be able to wear pants or never be able to wear shorts?
BS WEB GOODIE:
Current mood: https://tinyurl.com/yjywy43p
BS RANDOM JOKE:
My kids have a great deal of willpower—and even more won’t power.
BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could give your 20-year-old self 3 words of advice, what would you say?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 36% of adults say they’ll do THIS in preparation for Halloween. What is it?
Answer: Watch scary movies
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.