September 18 2020

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Friday, September 18, 2020 — Edition: #6811

We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

★ “Jeopardy!” champ Ken Jennings was named consulting producer on the long-running game show earlier this month, but executive producer Mike Richards says fans shouldn’t take that as a sign he’s in line to replace host Alex Trebek. He says: “We’re not shopping, [Trebek]’s our guy, and he’s our guy till he tells us he’s not our guy, and then we can have a different conversation. According to producers, in his new role, Jennings will “present his own special video categories, develop projects, help with contestant outreach and serve as a general ambassador for the show,”
★ Neil Patrick Harris has revealed that he and his family — including husband David Burtka and their 9-year-old twins Gideon and Harper — contracted COVID-19 earlier this year. Though Harris and his family have since recovered, he described the ordeal on the “Today” show as “not pleasant.” Harris said that in late March or early April, he thought he had the flu, and [QUOTE:] “I didn’t want to be paranoid about it. And then I lost my sense of taste and smell, which was a big indicator, so we holed up.”
★ It seems J.K. Rowling, whose latest claim to fame has been getting accused by many of transphobia after wading into controversial discussions about gender and biological sex, is once again the topic of criticism. This time, it’s due to just-revealed details about her new novel “Troubled Blood” (written under her pseudonym Robert Galbraith). It’s about the investigation into the 1974 disappearance of GP Margot Bamborough, who is thought to have been a victim of transvestite serial killer Dennis Creed. According to a reviewer: “One wonders what critics of Rowling’s stance on trans issues will make of a book whose moral seems to be: Never trust a man in a dress.”
★ Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard’s young daughters are really sharing their father’s sobriety journey, by sampling his non-alcoholic beer. Five-year-old Delta and Lincoln, who is 7, were caught red-handed sipping O’Douls during their Zoom classes. Although Bell knows she will receive “a lot of flack” for turning a blind eye, she said online: “I don’t care. You’re allowed to give me any advice you guys want…You’re welcome to tell me I’m a terrible parent. I don’t care. I’m a great parent, I think. I’m learning every day.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Dan Levy, Elle King, guest host David Spade (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jessica Alba, Jack Huston, Keith Urban
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Cleese, Glenn Howerton (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Bryan Cranston, Declan McKenna (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kim Klacik
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kristen Bell (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Marc Murphy
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Brad Pitt, Sean Hayes, Naomi Osaka (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): The most uplifting moments, including Tracee Ellis Ross, Olivia Munn
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Billy Porter
• “World’s Funniest Animals” (CW): Premiere. Special guests Tom Arnold and Natalie Lander, and panelists Mikalah Gordon, Noah Matthews, Brian Cooper and Carmen Hodson.

• “Creative Arts Emmy Awards” (FXX): Honoring the outstanding artistic and technical achievements in TV, as well as exceptional work in animation, reality and documentaries; with guest performances
• “Secret Life of a Celebrity Surrogate” (LIFETIME): A woman realizes she’s in grave danger after becoming a surrogate mother to a dark and twisted Hollywood star.
• “Follow Me to Daisy Hills” (HALLMARK): Sparks fly between a young woman and her ex-boyfriend when they work together to save her family’s general store.

• “72nd Emmy Awards” (ABC): Celebrating and honoring television’s best; Jimmy Kimmel hosts.
• “60 Minutes” (CBS): Season premiere

• Lady Gaga – says personal trauma influenced the book she is writing with her mother. “Channel Kindness” is a collection of 51 stories of kindness from young people. Gaga says the idea for the book stemmed from her experience with mental health problems at school.
• Beyoncé – Her Mom says Bey got her name from her. Tina Knowles-Lawson dropped the little-known bombshell on a podcast that ‘Beyoncé’ is actually her maiden name. Quote: “My name was Celestine Beyoncé.”
• Kanye West — served up a tweet storm about music ownership on Wednesday, and in a video post, he appeared to urinate on a Grammy award. He captioned it: “Trust me … I WONT STOP.”
• The Notorious B.I.G. – His famed King of NY crown has been passed on — for an absurd price. The headpiece he wore in his iconic final photoshoot in 1997 was sold in a Sotheby’s auction for a whopping $594,750. The plastic crown cost the photog who first used it with Biggie just $6 off the street.
• The Killers – will rock the NFL’s Las Vegas Raiders’ home opener. The band’s taped performance will air during halftime on Monday Night Football during the team’s match against the New Orleans Saints at Allegiant Stadium. The performance was pre-recorded on the rooftop of the Nobu Villa at Caesars Palace.
• Stevie Nicks — will debut her “24 Karat Gold The Concert film” on Oct. 21 & 25 at select cinemas, drive-ins and exhibition spaces around the world. It was recorded in Indianapolis and Pittsburgh in 2017.
• Metallica – is among 13 acts contributing archival performances as part of the Bonnaroo’s “Virtual Roo-Ality” event Sept. 24-26th. Also on the bill: the Beastie Boys’ final concert, held at Bonnaroo on June 12, 2009, plus Dave Matthews and Friends, The White Stripes, James Brown and more. It will be free to watch on the Bonnaroo YouTube channel.
• Keith Urban and Pink – released a video yesterday for their boozy new pop ballad ‘One Too Many’. The pair performed the song on Wednesday at the 2020 ACM Awards — hosted by Urban. It appears on his “The Speed of Now Part 1” album, out today.
• Lady A — Blues singer Anita White, who has performed as “Lady A” for several decades, is countersuing the country trio formerly called Lady Antebellum. White alleges trademark infringement, and that her brand has been “usurped and set on the path to erasure.”

Sorry, people named ‘Karen’, but your time in the spotlight isn’t over yet. Get set for what could the THE Halloween costume for 2020: The Karen! Kamoras Costumes calls its new — and fast-selling — latex rubber “Karen” mask: “the scariest thing you can be on Halloween.” The $180 handmade mask is their version of the viral “Karen” stereotype — typically, a white, middle-aged woman who wants to “speak to the manager” or “call the police” — that’s been everywhere over the past year thanks to some highly-publicized incidents involving anti-mask protests and other hot-button topics. The “Karen” mask has the trademark choppy haircut, with snarling yellow teeth and monstrous reddened eyes. There is another version available that features what appear to be fiery boils — we’re sure that’s a reference to laws requiring facemasks in public. Both are available on Etsy.
(In MY neighborhood, this would barely stand out!)

➢ A young Slovenian woman has been sentenced to two years in prison for cutting off her hand with a circular saw in order commit insurance fraud. 22-year-old Julija Adlesic allegedly conspired with her boyfriend and her father to in an attempt to collect $1.2 million in insurance payouts. She maintains that her injury was accidental, but prosecutors provided enough evidence that Adlesic and her co-conspirators had planned the so-called “accident” to get convictions against all of them. Her boyfriend was sentenced to three years in prison, while the woman’s father got a one-year suspended sentence. (I guess she’d give her right arm to live that day over…)
➢ A man suffered severe burns and part of a hospital was evacuated after an explosion early Sunday morning. According to the Saskatoon, SK Fire Department, the man tried to smoke while he was receiving oxygen. The explosion resulted in him receiving burns to roughly 25 per cent of his upper body. (Not only that, but he was also in a non-smoking area!)
-OddityCentral, Yahoo

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that men do NOT like to go to the doctor. But a survey by the Cleveland Clinic shows just HOW MUCH they don’t like it. The study of almost 1,200 men in the US found that 65% of men avoid going to the doctor for as long as possible. 37% have withheld information from their doctor to avoid a potentially negative diagnosis, and a full 72% of men said they’d rather do household chores (even including cleaning the toilet!) than visit the doctor.
(I’ve lied to my doctor. But he started it when his receptionist said he’d see me at 1:30!)


1950 [70] Darryl Sittler, St. Jacobs ON, retired NHL player (Toronto Maple Leafs captain who holds the record for points in a game with 10)

1970 [50] Aisha Tyler, San Francisco CA, TV personality (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” since 2013, “The Talk” 2011-17)/TV actress (“Bojack Horseman” 2014-15, “Archer” since 2009)

1971 [49] Jada Pinkett Smith, Baltimore MD, movie actress (“Madagascar” movies, “The Matrix” films)/ TV Host (“Red Table Talk” since 2018)/Mrs. Will Smith since 1997

1971 [49] Lance Armstrong, Plano TX, former pro racing cyclist (stripped of 7 consecutive Tour De France titles due to doping)

1973 [47] James Marsden, Stillwater OK, movie actor (“The Butler”, “X-Men” films)

1975 [45] Jason Sudeikis, Fairfax VA, comedian/comedy writer (“Portlandia” 2011-14, “Saturday Night Live” 2005-12)/movie actor (“We’re the Millers”, “Horrible Bosses”)

1976 [44] Ronaldo (Luís Nazário de Lima), Rio de Janeiro Brazil, retired professional soccer striker (3X FIFA World Player of the Year, 2002 FIFA World Cup winner)/entrepreneur (majority owner of Real Valladolid)

1993 [27] Patrick Schwarzenegger, Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Midnight Sun”)/model/Son of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver/

SATURDAY- Jeremy Irons (“Reversal of Fortune”) is 72; Songwriter-music producer Daniel Lanois is 69; Lita Ford (w/Ozzy Osbourne: ‘Close My Eyes Forever’) is 62; Trisha Yearwood (‘XXX’s and OOO’s’) is 56; Kim Richards (“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”) is 56; Jimmy Fallon (“Tonight Show”) is 46; Alison Sweeney (“Days of Our Lives”) is 44

SUNDAY- Sophia Loren (“Two Women”) is 86; George RR Martin (“Game of Thrones”) is 72; Retired hockey player Guy Lafleur is 69; Ben Shepherd (Soundgarden bassist) is 52; Jon Bernthal (“The Punisher”) is 44; Phillip Phillips (‘Home’) is 30

• “Cheeseburger Day”, celebrating the best way to get 2 kinds of cattle fat into your system simultaneously. Supposedly, the first person to ever slap cheese on a burg’ was grill chef Lionel Sternberger at the Rite Spot restaurant in Pasadena CA in 1926.

• “Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day”, saluting the anonymous and often under-appreciated wordsmiths who say the things we have trouble expressing. (Thanks for saving our bacon on numerous occasions!)

• “Chiropractic Founder’s Day”, the first chiropractic adjustment was given by Dr. DD Palmer to janitor Harvey Lillard in 1895. Harvey had lost most of his hearing 17 years earlier after hearing a popping sound in his neck. Dr. Palmer determined that a bone was out of place in the janitor’s neck, and decided to move it back. This primitive first chiropractic adjustment resulted in Harvey getting his hearing back, and the chiropractic profession was born.

• “Rice Krispies Treats Day”, a combination of butter or margarine and melted marshmallows or marshmallow creme. Two Kellogg’s employees, Malitta Jensen and Mildred Day, are credited with the invention in 1939 as a promotional vehicle for the cereal. (Is it a coincidence that ‘snap, crackle and pop’ and ‘Chiropractic Founders Day’ are celebrated together??)

• “First Love Day”, a day to reflect on our first love. For some people, this will feel like a distant memory. Perhaps it was your highschool sweetheart? Maybe you’re still with your first love! Today, reflect on those butterflies you experienced when you felt that first romantic spark.

• “Talk Like a Pirate Day”. So here goes … Har’ Billy, hoist that bilge! Avast ya scurvy scum, stow away your jib! Ahoy matey, grab thee a wench! Swab the deck, ya lily-livered landlubbers!
• “Butterscotch Pudding Day”, because apparently every single thing in existence deserves its own holiday.
• “Woman Road Warrior Day”, a day to honor women who travel for business. While men were the main business travelers in the past, women now account for half of all work-related travel. (As opposed to my mother, who is a ‘Road Worrier’.)
• “National Cleanup Day”, to celebrate the importance of uniting to care for our outdoor spaces and remove litter from our trails, parks, and community spaces. National Cleanup Day encourages all of us to take action to make the entire country a better place to live. Just think, what if everyone just picked up one piece of litter?

• “Gibberish Day”, highlighting the uselessness of the convoluted terminology and gobbledy-gook spouted by those who are masking their lack of knowledge and expertise or who are just too spineless to make a clear statement. (***Try this ‘Gibberish Generator’ …***)
• “Punch Day”, the word ‘punch’ is said to come from the Hindustani word ‘panch’, which means ‘five’. In the early 1600s, sailors and employees of the British East India Company brought a new exotic drink from India to England. It was made with five ingredients—spirits, lemon, sugar, water, and tea.
• “Cheese String Day”, perhaps the most enjoyable part of String Cheese is deciding how to eat it. Most people go for the classic “peel down and chow down” method—separating each stick into thin strands. (Or just chomp off a chunk, as if it were regular cheese…)
• “Pepperoni Pizza Day”, a day to celebrate America’s favorite variety of pizza. Some interesting trivia on the ever-popular pizza:
⇒ The first pizza was sold in Naples, Italy in 1738.
⇒ Pizzas most likely evolved as a variation of flatbreads.
⇒ Over 3 billion pizzas are sold in the U.S. each year.
⇒ More pizzas are sold on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year.
⇒ Halloween is the second most popular day for eating pizza.
⇒ Pepperoni is the most popular kind, preferred by 36% of people (and 100% of children at a birthday party).
⇒ Over 17% of restaurants are pizzerias, or serve pizza.
⇒ Americans consume over 23 pounds of pizza per person per year.

1965 [55] “I Dream of Jeannie”, starring Barbara Eden as a 2,000-year-old genie, and Larry Hagman as an astronaut who becomes her master, premieres on NBC

1985 [35] the first-ever ‘Top 10 List’ on “Late Night With David Letterman” is presented, titled ‘Top 10 Things That Almost Rhyme With Peas’ (#1 is ‘Meats’. Um, maybe it’s in the delivery?)

1970 [50] legendary guitarist Jimi Hendrix dies from asphyxiation at 27

1983 [37] KISS make their first public appearance without their trademark make-up when they show up on MTV to promote their new album – and single – “Lick It Up”

2004 [16] Britney Spears weds Kevin Federline in a low-key ceremony at a private home in Studio City CA, her 2nd wedding in 9 months (they divorce in 2007)

1999 [21] the first husband & wife gender-swap happens, with each undergoing a sex-change operation in Hungary (“I couldn’t stand my husband … so now she’s my wife”)

2009 [11] The 72-year run of radio-turned-TV soap opera “The Guiding Light” ends as its final episode airs


✓ Professional baseball players have an average visual acuity of 20/12, much better than 20/20, which is considered “good”.
✓ The word “broadcast” originally referred to farmers casting (scattering) seeds over a broad area.
✓ Honeybees keep their hives at 95 degrees Fahrenheit (35C)
✓ Modern squirrels are almost identical to their ancestors from 35 million years ago.
✓ Peaches, avocados, cashews and bananas are all pollinated by bats.
✓ The average intelligence of humans has risen 20 IQ points since 1950.
-BBC, Wordnik

Best of BS . . .

• What is Popeye’s last name?
• Why is it that Goofy can talk, but Pluto can’t?
• Why doesn’t Wil E. Coyote sue the ACME company?
• How does SpongeBob light a fire underwater?
• Left or right at Albuquerque?
• Why does Batman have a cape, but he can’t fly?
• Why do Tom and Jerry never wear any clothes, EXCEPT when they go to the beach?
• Will we ever find out where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
• Why were those darn kids always meddling?
• What exactly WAS up, Doc?
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

➠ A Malaysian man lost his cell phone, then found it three days later with monkey selfies and video in his photo roll. (The pics have gone so viral, the E! Network is flying them to Hollywood for a new reality series.)
➠ 54-year old actor Josh Brolin and his 32-year-old wife Kathryn have announced they are having a child. (Perfect timing for Brolin. By the time the baby gets out of diapers, he’ll be getting into them…)
➠ A YouTuber livestreamed himself pooping on Nancy Pelosi’s San Francisco driveway.  (Which is totally sick!  I mean, imagine being a Youtuber!??)
➠ Elon Musk has confirmed that SpaceX just secured more contracts with SES for 2021 and will launch rockets from Florida. (This story would be way more interesting if we replaced the “from” with “at.”)
➠ A 36-year-old Florida woman was arrested for testing out a sex toy in an adult-themed sex store’s main lobby. (She was reportedly upset about being arrested, but couldn’t wait for the handcuffs…)

That’s gonna ruin your weekend:

The reason “cheaters never win” is that the cheaters who did win never got caught.


What’s your all-time favorite cover song? Least favorite?

Question: When pressed, 1 in 5 men admit to doing THIS, even though it is considered a “women’s activity”. What is it?
Answer:  Reading romance novels

May your weekend be as happy as a bird with a French fry.


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