Tuesday, September 15, 2020 — Edition: #6808
Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Mark Ruffalo is looking on the bright side for his “Avengers” co-star Chris Evans, who appeared to accidentally post some NSFW photos on his Instagram Story, which were quickly deleted. In a Twitter message, Ruffalo wrote: “Bro, while Trump is in office there is NOTHING you could possibly do to embarrass yourself. See… silver lining.” Evans had shared a video of himself and some friends playing a game of Heads Up. But the end of the clip showed the actor’s camera roll, which included a black-and-white photo of a male body part that fans assumed was his, as well as an explicit meme.
★ “Survivor” fans are going to have to wait a bit longer than usual for the next season. While many other shows have been able to resume production, Survivor has faced a series of unique challenges amidst this pandemic because the show films in Fiji. It was originally hoped that production could resume this fall, but due to new safety measures from the Fijian government, the country’s borders are closed to non-citizens. As a result, production will not resume in Fiji’s Mamanuca Islands until April at the earliest.
★ “Doogie Howser, M.D.” is being rebooted for Disney+, with a female in the title role. The streaming service has announced plans to reimagine the ABC sitcom – which ran from 1989 until 1993 and starred Neil Patrick Harris as a teenage physician — with plans to begin airing next year. The president of content and marketing at Disney+, said: “Doogie Kamealoha, M.D.” is “set in modern-day Hawaii and will tell the story of a 16-year-old girl juggling a budding medical career and life as a teenager.”
★ Angelina Jolie surprised two young best friends from London, when she made an “extremely generous” donation to their lemonade stand raising funds for war-torn Yemen. In a signed note, Jolie wrote: “Thank you for what you and your friends are doing to help children in Yemen. I’m sorry I’m not able to buy a lemonade from you, but I’d still like to make a donation to your stand.” Helped by their parents, the pair set up their venture on the street where they live in east London around a month ago.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): John David Washington, Snoh Aalegra, guest host Samuel L. Jackson (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ewan McGregor, Willie & Bobbie Nelson, Kesha
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Janelle Monáe, Jacob Soboroff
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Wendy Williams, Blake Griffin, Yola, Sonny Emory
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rainn Wilson, Anthony Ramos
• “Conan” (TBS): Melissa Villaseñor
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Pete Buttigieg, Chasten Buttigieg
• “The Talk” (CBS): Regina King (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jimmy Kimmel, Michael Symon
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Matt Damon (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): The most incredible connections, including Michael Ealy, Jason Derulo, Trevor Jackson, Kevin Hart, Garth Brooks
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Reese Witherspoon, Billy Eichner, Derrick Barnes, Gordon C. James
• “The President and the People: A 20/20 Special Event” (ABC): Providing undecided voters, both in person and virtually, a chance to ask the president their questions before voting in November.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): 11 semifinalists perform for a chance to win $1 million and be named the most talented act in America.
• “OWN Spotlight: They Call Me Dad” (OWN): Five celebrity Black fathers from diverse backgrounds showcase the joys, fears and fulfillment that being a dad brings while also shifting the narratives for a more accurate representation of Black fatherhood.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Kanye West — On Friday, a judge ruled that his name will not appear on the ballot in Wisconsin in the election because he missed the deadline to apply by 14 seconds. His last-minute entry into the race has been hindered at many steps, forcing his supporters to add him as a write-in candidate if they want to vote for him.
• Camila Cabello – On Sat., she wrote on social media: “every 40 seconds a family loses someone to suicide. This heartbreaking fact reminds us today, during National Suicide Prevention Week, that we don’t know what someone else is going through. I’ve been open about my challenges with mental health, OCD, and anxiety. And the bravest thing I ever did was ask for help when I was suffering.”
• Sia – says that even though some of the songs she has written are (crap), people still like them. Her songs have been recorded by artists including Rihanna, Jennifer Lopez and BTS, and she says that even if what she writes isn’t to her own taste, she knows there are others who will be happy to sing them.
• Billy Corgan – Has finally re-opened his Madame ZuZu’s Tea Shop and Art Studio after being “forced to move,” about two years ago. The new spot, in a different location of Chicago’s Highland Park suburb, offers a “a largely gluten-free vegan menu” to compliment its wealth of teas, and is larger than the original, allowing the facility to host events once pandemic restrictions are lifted.
• Bruce Springsteen — has announced his 20th album, slated for Oct. 23, is titled “Letter to You”. It will include nine new Springsteen tracks, plus new recordings of three previously unreleased songs from the 1970s (‘Janey Needs a Shooter’, ‘If I Was the Priest’, and ‘Song for Orphans’.) It will mark his first work with the E Street Band since 2016’s “The River” tour.
• Robert Plant – says “the most cherished moment” of his career was a few months ago when he was invited to play with Willie Nelson, and observed the 87-year-old as “he was travelling through his tour with his big bus giving away weed to everybody.” According to Plant, “He just gives it away…Free.”
• Taylor Swift — will return to the Academy of Country Music Awards for the first time in seven years, with a world premiere performance of ‘Betty’ from her new album “Folklore”. The ACM Awards will air tomorrow night. Other performers include Kelsea Ballerini, Luke Bryan and Eric Church.
• Keith Urban – The host of tomorrow night’s ACMs says of his upcoming album “The Speed of Now, Part 1,” which drops Sept. 18: “There’s a chunk of this record, probably a good third of it that wouldn’t have happened without what we went through.” He says about 70% was finished before the pandemic hit.
MASK YOUR DISGUST:
Luxury retailer Louis Vuitton is launching a US $961(750 British pounds) plastic face shield for those who like to do their grocery shopping in designer duds. The pricey piece of personal protective equipment will be on sale starting Oct. 30 as part of the French brand’s 2021 Cruise Collection. In a statement, Luis Vuitton calls the shield “an eye-catching headpiece, both stylish and protective.” The hard-plastic covering doubles as a hat and can be flipped up, like a visor. It features LV-embossed gold studs, a monogrammed elastic head strap, and trim in the brand’s signature “LV” print. Oh, and it protects the wearer from the sun’s rays, too. The plastic shield transitions from clear to dark in bright light.
(I think everyone should get one. That way people won’t be throwing them all over the parking lot when they’re done!)
(What do you think, ladies? Is this something you’d like, or are you enjoying wearing cloth masks and not having to wear lipstick?)
(Wow – almost a thousand dollars, and it still can’t mask pomposity!)
ON A WING AND A…WING?
Testing has begun on a new type of airliner where the passengers ride INSIDE the wings. OK, they are only testing a scale model of the experimental airliner, but it’s a pretty amazing idea. Cooked up by engineers at TU Delft, the Flying-V’s unusual design makes it 20% more fuel efficient than the most advanced planes out there today. In its fully-realized form, the Flying V aircraft would feature a cabin, cargo hold and fuel tanks integrated into its V-shaped wing structure, which would have a wingspan equal to that of an Airbus A350. It would have enough space on board for the same amount of cargo and human passengers, with 314 seats. In preliminary testing on the scaled flight model, the largest issue the propulsion team ran into was what they called “Somewhat of a rough landing”, as the plane tends to tilt back and forth as it lines up with the runway.
(Clean up on wing 2!!)
(How is it that this has never been done before?)
PROCESS THIS JUNK FOOD NEWS:
➢ Pringles is testing out a new can for their iconic chips. Why? For years, the tall tube that houses the paraboloid-shaped potato chips has been at the top of a list of worst offenders when it comes to recyclability. Now Kellogg’s, which owns the Pringles brand, is trying out a new design made of recycled paper in three stores in England. Kellogg’s said the new design was part of the company’s goal to make all packaging 100% reusable, recyclable or compostable by the end of 2025. The current can is a combination of foil, paper board, metal and plastic that is difficult to recycle due to the number of different materials involved. (The package has almost as many ingredients as the chips do!)
➢ The company that produces Peeps says its holiday-themed marshmallow treats will not be in Halloween candy baskets this year — and they won’t be in stores for Christmas, either. In April, Just Born Quality Confections suspended the production of its candy brands to protect the health and safety of their employees during the pandemic, and although limited production resumed in May after changes were made to the plant, the “situation resulted in… the difficult decision to forego production of…seasonal candies for Halloween, Christmas and Valentine’s Day…to focus on meeting the expected overwhelming demand for Peeps for next Easter season.” (So much for seeing your peeps this Christmas…)
COMMENCE RETAIL MADNESS:
Walmart has unveiled its highly anticipated annual “Top-Rated by Kids Toy List”. The list features the hottest toys for the 2020 holiday season, tested and selected by the real experts, kids. Here are this year’s top toys:
Inspired by TV & Movies:
• Frozen 2 – Magic in Motion Elsa Doll ($59.00)
• Blue’s Clues & You Peek-A-Boo ($24.84)
• Paw Patrol Dino Patroller ($59.00)
• Sensory FX ASMR Mega Bar ($19.88)
• VTech KidiZoom Creator Cam ($59.00)
• Instax Mini 7S Seafoam Green ($59.00)
• Disney Princess Vanity ($49.88)
• Gotta Go Flamingo ($28.82)
• FurReal Mama Josie Kangaroo Pet ($67.00)
• The Animal ($34.88)
• Treasure X – Sharks Treasure ($19.87)
• Hatchimals Crystal Flyers ($29.77)
Screen-free Indoor Entertainement:
• Tic Tac Tony ($9.97)
• Kinetic Sand Sandwhirlz ($19.82)
• Spark Puppy Piano ($19.82)
DID YOU KNOW?
You might have seen this coming. New data from the Social Security Administration confirms that the name ‘Karen’ is declining in popularity in the U.S. Between 2018 and 2019, the name Karen fell 23 places, from the 637th most popular baby name for girls to No. 660 ― its lowest ranking on the annual list since 1929. (Probably not too many ‘Ellens’ lately, either…)
BS CHRONOMETER 09.15.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946  Oliver Stone, NYC, movie director-producer-screenwriter with 3 Academy Awards (“Platoon”, “Born On the Fourth of July”, “Midnight Express”)
1946  Tommy Lee Jones, San Saba TX, movie actor (“No Country For Old Men”, Academy Award-“The Fugitive”) COMING UP…”The Comeback Trail”, 2020
1961  Dan Marino, Pittsburgh PA, NFL analyst (“The NFL Today on CBS”)/legendary former NFL QB (Miami Dolphins)/9X Pro Bowl, Pro Football Hall of Fame (2005)
1977  Tom Hardy, London UK, movie actor (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “Mad Max”) COMING UP…”Venom: Let There Be Carnage”, 2021
1978  Zach Filkins, Colorado Springs CO, pop-rock guitarist (OneRepublic-‘Counting Stars’, ‘Love Runs Out’)
1981  Ben Schwartz, The Bronx NY, TV actor (‘Jean-Ralphio Saperstein’ on “Parks and Recreation” 2010-15)
1984  Prince Harry (Henry Charles Albert David Windsor of Wales), London UK, British royal (Duke of Sussex)/Prince Charles & Princess Diana’s #2 son who’s currently sixth in line to the throne after his father, his elder brother, and his niece and nephews
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Google.com Day”, founded on September 4th 1997, however, it became a domain officially on this day 23 years ago. (Who says “Google.com”?)
• “Greenpeace Day”, honoring the 1971 founding of the now internationally renowned environmental organization. A group of 17 activists initially formed in Vancouver BC to protest offshore nuclear testing in Alaska.
• “International Day of Democracy”, a UN observance since 2007 encouraging the freely-expressed will of people to determine their own political, economic, social, and cultural systems.
• “Care Givers Day”, recognizing the selfless people who do the chores for the sick and elderly that the rest of us can’t be bothered with. How come one of the most important occupations is one of the poorest paying?
• “International Dot Day”, to encourage people of all ages to harness their creativity. The inspiration is the children’s book “The Dot” by Peter H. Reynolds. It tells the tale of a teacher who challenges a female pupil to take courage in her abilities, and from a dot on a page the youngster goes on to make her mark.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Guacamole Day
[Wed] Collect Rocks Day
[Thurs] Apple Dumpling Day
[Thurs] World Patient Safety Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1954  The famous photo of screen siren Marilyn Monroe, laughing as her skirt is blown up by the blast from a subway vent, is shot during the filming of “The Seven Year Itch” (it infuriates her husband, Joe DiMaggio, and they divorce shortly afterward)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1994  Earliest known recording of John Lennon, a performance by the Quarrymen at a St. Peter’s parish garden party in 1957 Liverpool, fetches $125,000 at a Sotheby’s auction
2004  Johnny Ramone, lead guitarist of The Ramones, dies of prostate cancer at 55
2019  The Cars frontman Ric Ocasek dies at 75
TODAY IN SPORTS . . .
2004  National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman announces a lockout of the players union and cessation of operations by the NHL head office
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2008  NYC-based financial services firm Lehman Bros files the largest bankruptcy filing in US history, eventually contributing to a global financial meltdown and recession
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Believing you’ve slept well, even if you haven’t, improves performance.
✓ That ‘old person smell’ is actually caused by a chemical, called 2-nonenal, that older people secrete through their skin.
✓ If your name is easy to pronounce, people will favor you more.
✓ If your last name is closer to the end of the alphabet, you’re more likely to be an impulse spender.
✓ Humans are the only animals with chins.
✓ If you’ve got an itch in your throat, scratch your ear.
Best of BS . . .
BS MORE ACCURATE SLOGANS:
• BenGay: You’ll only mistake it for toothpaste once
• Gillette: The best a man can get at Walmart
• Motel 6: We’ll leave the crime scene tape up for ya
• WebMD: Convince yourself that you have a terminal illness
• Taco Bell: Make a run for the bathroom
• IKEA: If you’re not fighting with your wife now, just give it a minute
• Allstate: Like a good neighbor, stay over there
• Fox News: Fairly unbalanced
• Klondike: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
• I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
• I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Relatives’ Towns” routing option.
• I have a hard time distinguishing the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t understand a word they said?
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I bet we can all find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
-Emmitsburg, first published in BS in 2017
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Katy Perry’s new album, “Smile” has debuted at #5 on Billboard’s Top 200. (The first single is a sweet collaboration. . .. with autotune.)
➠ The sixth “Jurassic Park” movie, set to be released in June, will be called “Jurassic World: Dominion”. (Here, I’ll use it in a sentence: “Why are they making Jurassic World: Dominion?”)
➠ The highly anticipated iPhone 12 may be released in October instead of September. (The new model is 20% lighter, 18% thinner, and 100% smugger.)
➠ Big night on TV these last few days thanks to the premiere of “Dancing w/the Stars”, “The Masked Singer: Sneak Peek” and a new episode of “America’s Got Talent”. (In fact, so many judges were on TV, it’s easier to list the one who wasn’t: Judge Reinhold.)
➠ Donald Trump was nominated last week for the Nobel Peace Prize. (He has a good chance of winning too. His strategy is to “Twitticule” and belittle the other nominees. (…that’s right — Twitter + Ridicule = Twitticule. Nerd!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Worth it just for the first one: https://tinyurl.com/yytzw6b7
BS PHONE STARTER:
My Neighbors Probably Hate Me Because ________.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Do gun manuals have a “trouble shooting” section?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average family of four has saved about $218 during the pandemic because they weren’t able to do THIS. What is it?
Answer: Attend birthday parties
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.