September 9 2020

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Wednesday, September 9, 2020 — Edition: #6804

Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

★ Joe Exotic’s team will hand deliver a request for Donald Trump to pardon the “Tiger King” star this week. Exotic, who rose to fame after starring in the Netflix documentary series, is serving a 22-year prison sentence on charges of animal abuse and murder for hire, but his legal reps claim that he was wrongly convicted. Trump was asked during a briefing in April whether he had considered pardoning Exotic. The president replied that he hadn’t seen the show but would “take a look” into the former zoo owner’s case.
★ “Dancing With the Stars” is losing one more familiar face, but adding another, ahead of Season 29. Series veteran Derek Hough will serve as a judge for the upcoming cycle. He’ll replace Len Goodman, who is unable to judge this season due to coronavirus travel restrictions. Goodman will, however, be involved “in a different capacity” while living in the U.K. Hough will sit alongside returning staples Carrie Ann Inaba and Bruno Tonioli. He has six Mirrorball wins under his belt from his time as a pro partner. Dancing With the Stars returns Monday, Sept. 14th.
★ Cuba Gooding Jr. came to the rescue of the host of a party he attended after his shirt was accidentally set on fire by a candle. According to a witness, the host ”inadvertently set himself on fire” and ”Cuba jumped into action hero mode and doused him with water in front of frightened guests, who applauded once it was clear the guy was OK.”
★ In space, no one can hear you cooking up a new “Alien” movie. Ridley Scott has confirmed that it’s happening. He directed the original 1979 classic, and two prequels. No date, casting or plot details for the new Alien film have been revealed, but in June, it was reported that two producers were working on a script idea that might involve the world of dreams, and would include iconic character ‘Ellen Ripley’, played by Sigourney Weaver. But Weaver herself hinted earlier this year that it might be time to give Ripley “a rest.”


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Rainn Wilson, guest host Brad Paisley
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kevin Hart, Josh Charles, Chika
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Chris Christie, Gregory Porter (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Cleese, Glenn Howerton
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Gabrielle Union, Nick Cave
• “Conan” (TBS): Beth Stelling
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Brandi Glanville, Ziwe Fumudoh
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Stephanie Winston Wolkoff
• “The Talk” (CBS): Oprah Winfrey (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): David Muir, Jessica Alba, Amy Goodman
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Season 17 highlights, including the cast of “Love Is Blind”, Michelle Obama, Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Benee (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Dakota Fanning, Mike Rowe (R)
• “Big Brother” (CBS): Houseguests vie for the power of veto; the winner of the competition can keep nominations the same or save someone from eviction for the week.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Five acts move on to the finals; viewers can send their favorite act to the finals by participating in the save.
• “Brother vs. Brother” (HGTV): Series premiere. Drew and Jonathan have three weeks to complete the living room renovation in Los Angeles before guest judge Orlando Soria declares a winner.

• Taylor Swift – has tied Whitney Houston for the most weeks at #1 one on the Billboard Albums chart among women. “Folklore” is on top for the 6th week, giving Swift 46 weeks at #1, over 7 albums. That ties Houston’s record, stretched out over four number ones. The Beatles are the all-time record holders for the most weeks at number one, with 132 weeks, spread out over 19 albums.
• Drake — To commemorate his single ‘In My Feelings’ topping 1 billion streams on Spotify, the streaming service sent him a special plaque. Drake Instagrammed a video of his new award — which he used as a bowl that was filled with pasta. In 2011, he took a video of him and his pals drinking shots out of his Grammy.
• The Temptations – former lead singer Bruce Williamson died Sunday night at his home in Las Vegas after battling the coronavirus. He was 49. Williamson joined The Temptations in 2006 and continued with the group through 2015.
• Eddy Grant — is taking Donald Trump’s campaign officials to court over the unauthorized use of ‘Electric Avenue’. The 1983 hit was used in an animated ad on Twitter featuring a speeding train with “Trump Pence” printed on the side, as a cartoon version of  Joe Biden trails behind.
• Judas Priest — are commemorating their history with a 648-page coffee table book called “Judas Priest — 50 Heavy Metal Years”. Arriving in early December, it’s the first authorized book about the band, with contributions from all current members of the group, as well as journalist Mark Blake.
• Ozzy Osbourne — has ruled out doing anymore Black Sabbath shows. While he has stated in the past that he’d like to do one more show with all four original members in their hometown of Birmingham, England, now he says: ”Not for me. It’s done…I don’t have any of the slightest interest in [doing another gig].”
• Eddie Vedder — has joined Instagram to explain to fans the importance of voting by mail in the upcoming US election, to prevent fraud or forged ballots. He wrote: ”In Pearl Jam we had to request Absentee Ballots going back to 1992 cause we were always away from home touring.” and “Whomever is attempting to make this process unclear or ripe for fraud should not be trusted.”
• Blake Shelton – Producer Scott Hendricks says ‘Nobody But You’, his duet with partner Gwen Stefani,
was originally going to be a solo project for Shelton, until a last minute decision to include her. He says Stefani added her vocals to the song and “She fit like a glove.” It became his 27th country #1, and her first.
• Alabama – has announced two shows in Nashville in 2021 as part of their delayed 50th Anniversary Tour. They’ll play Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena on July 2 and July 3 with special guest Martina McBride. They were forced to postpone more than 25 shows on their 50th Anniversary Tour in 2019 as Randy Owen dealt with vertigo and migraines, then had to delay it again this year due to the pandemic.

With many of us now adjusting to our Fall routines, you might be thinking about the next big adjustment: The time change. With about 70 countries getting (ahem) SET to RESET their clocks on Nov. 1, sleep experts are saying that we should seriously consider ditching Daylight-Saving Time. Scientists from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine warn that the adjustment runs counter to the human body’s natural circadian rhythms (which can have detrimental health effects) and they want the practice scrapped. The human body’s sleep/wake cycle is triggered by exposure to light, particularly daylight. But one of the effects of daylight-saving is that the early part of the day is darker than usual while the end of the day stays lighter for longer. While supporters of daylight-saving time say that it saves lives and energy and helps prevent crime, the AASM believes the world should move to year-round standard time to most closely match the body’s natural rhythm.
(There are actually people who support daylight-saving time?)
(Well, at least we have something new to argue about for the next two months…)
(I suppose it’d be stupid to suggest we compromise and just move the clock a half-hour?)

⇒ An Austrian man chilled out for just over two-and-a-half hours in a full-body ice bath — breaking his own world record by almost 30 minutes. 42-year-old Josef Koeberl needed 440 pounds of ice cubes to fill a custom-made, transparent box up to his shoulders on Saturday. Wearing only a swim suit, he sat inside the box in front of a small crowd, and kept his cool for 2 hours, 30 minutes and 57 seconds. (He also set a record for “shrinkage”.)
⇒ Running a mile in 5:30 is pretty good by any standard. It’s even better when the running is done backward. 34-year-old Aaron Yoder bettered his own record for the backward mile last Friday by an impressive 24 seconds. The longtime forward-motion runner now races in reverse due to knee damage. (And I thought people laugh at ME when I run!)

☞ Think of hard times like bad weather — they too will pass.
☞ Draw inspiration from all the people you meet.
☞ Love your work — for the salary and for the people.
☞ Find mentors who can guide you and challenge you.
☞ Make the most of less.
(It’s maybe not quite as inspirational, but my Grandad just told me that the best thing about having to wear a mask is that he can go out without putting his teeth in…)

Buy it:
➠ Mattresses and linens:  They always go on sale this time of year. Don’t even consider paying full price for these. (If you believe the commercials, these things are always on sale!!)
➠ iPhones:  Apple unveils their latest phones this month (or next), so if you don’t mind buying last year’s model, it is about to become much more affordable (and you won’t have to worry about the ‘bugs’ that come with a new model, either.)
➠ Summer gear:  Whether you need a new bike, a lawnmower or a patio set, you might find a great deal right now.
➠ Cars:  Next year’s models are arriving now, so it could be a good time to find a great deal on last year’s models. (I’m in the bracket where I’m hoping to score a deal on a used car from the guy who is trying to get a deal on last year’s model!)
Skip it:
➠ Electronics:  With Black Friday coming, and Christmas…maybe just wait a bit…
➠ Halloween costume:  The longer it stays in stores, the cheaper it will be. Wait at least until October. (Or November!)
➠ Appliances:  Again, you might want to wait until Black Friday. New models are coming soon, and deep discounts on older models are sure to follow. (With apologies to our local appliance sponsor…!)


A study says you are more likely to be successful at losing weight if you have a partner to hold you accountable. Researchers from the University of Wisconsin found that patients with acute coronary syndrome had an easier time altering harmful habits linked to obesity and heart problems to healthier habits with positive affirmations from a partner. (Does the partner try to lose weight too…or eat all the tasty snacks before the dieter can get to them?)


1952 [68] Dave Stewart, Sunderland England, pop/rock guitarist (Eurythmics-‘Here Comes the Rain Again’)/producer (Tom Petty, Mick Jagger, Stevie Nicks)

1960 [60] Hugh Grant, London UK, movie actor (“Love Actually”, “Bridget Jones” films)

1966 [54] Adam Sandler, Brooklyn NY, movie actor-producer (“The Wedding Singer”, “Grown Ups” movies)

1971 [49] Eric Stonestreet, Kansas City KS, TV actor (‘Cameron Tucker’ on “Modern Family” 2009-20)

1971 [49] Henry Thomas, San Antonio TX, movie actor (“E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial”, “Legends of the Fall”)/TV actor (The Haunting of Hill House”)

1975 [45] Michael Bublé, Burnaby BC, pop/jazz singer (‘Home’, ‘Haven’t Met You Yet’)

1980 [40] Michelle Williams, Kalispell MT, movie actress (“Blue Valentine”, “Brokeback Mountain”)/TV actress (“Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)

1987 [33] Afrojack (Nick van de Wall), Spijkenisse Netherlands, music DJ-producer (w/Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo & Nayer-‘Give Me Everything’, w/Beyoncé-‘Run the World Girls’)

1991 [29] Hunter Hayes, Breaux Bridge LA, country singer-songwriter (‘I Want Crazy’, ‘Wanted’)

• “Teddy Bear Day”, honoring the first and most popular plush animal toy that was inspired by the helpless cub that US president Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot while hunting in 1902. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn NY candy store, took credit for creating the first ‘Teddy Bear’, but renowned German toymaker Steiff may have already been making bears by then.

• “Wonderful Weirdos Day”, saluting all people who are … well, kinda quirky. Know any? If you’re typically on the prim and proper side, use this day to let loose.

• “International Sudoku Day”, today was chosen because 9/9 is symbolic within Sudoku. Sudoku is a logic-based number puzzle in which the objective is to fill a 9×9 grid so that each column, row, and 3×3 sub-grid contains all the digits from 1 to 9. The name itself means “single number.”

• “National Wiener Schnitzel Day”, dedicated to a traditional Austrian dish which belongs to the best-known specialties of Viennese cuisine. It’s a very thin slice of veal which is breaded and then deep fried in clarified butter or lard.

• “Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Day”, to raise awareness about the dangers of drinking during pregnancy and the plight of individuals and families who struggle with FASD. The first “FASDay” was observed on 9/9/99, to signify that a woman should abstain from alcohol during the 9 months of pregnancy.

[Thurs] Make-Up Day
[Thurs] Hot Dog Day
[Fri] Make Your Bed Day
[Fri] Hot Cross Bun Day

2009 [11] FOX-TV announces that Ellen DeGeneres will replace Paula Abdul as the 4th judge on “American Idol” (she quits after one season)


2005 [15] Despite fan protests, Liverpool, England declares its intention to demolish Ringo Starr’s birthplace on Madryn Street, which The Beatles’ drummer lived in until age 5

2014 [06] About 500 million iTunes users are surprised when U2’s latest album “Songs of Innocence” shows up free and without permission in their personal libraries.


2014 [06] Apple announces the Apple Watch, the iPhone 6, and the iPhone 6 Plus; all featuring ‘Near Field Communication’ (NFC) to allow instant payments in stores without credit cards


1999 [21] Nicholas Stephen Wadle is born in Beloit, Wisconsin at 9:09 am on the 9th day of the 9th month of 1999; his weight … 9 lbs, 9 oz (What are the odds?)

2015 [05] Queen Elizabeth II becomes Great Britain’s longest-reigning monarch at 63 years and seven months, beating the previous record set by her great-great-grandmother, Queen Victoria


✓ “Underground” is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters ‘u-n-d’.
✓ The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.
✓ Microsoft made $16,005 in revenue in its first year of operation.
✓ Lobsters and jellyfish never stop growing.
✓ Lewis Carroll wrote “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” standing up.
✓ Sherlock Holmes never said “Elementary, my dear Watson.”
-DidYouKnow, BathroomReadersInstitute

• The ball was originally shaped like an actual foot.
• Boomer Esiason was the first person to ever be told: “OK, Boomer.”
• Any new team coming to San Diego must be named the Rechargers.
• The field is actually wider than it is long. The game is just played sideways.
• The Cleveland Browns were formed when the Cleveland Blues merged with the Cleveland Reds and the Cleveland Yellows.
• In Europe, they call it “soccer”.
• My wife’s idea of Fantasy Football is me not watching football.
• The Patriots never cheated.

Best of BS . . .

• “Going once…going twice…And – ”
• “I give it 50 years, tops.”
• “He’ll be a great first husband.”
• “It’s so nice they decided to have an outdoor wedding. In Texas…in August. At 3pm. When it’s 110° degrees. And humid.
• “I LOVE my bridesmaid’s dress!”
• Last rites.
• “Great chicken nuggets, huh?”
• “It was ‘bring your own cake?’”
• “I don’t.”
• “Let’s get ready to RRRUMBLE!!!!”

➠ A report claims runners frequently think about how much they hate running. (Which is ironic, because I haven’t left my couch in weeks, and I think about the exact same thing!)
➠ An Illinois Police Dog’s discovery of 5 pounds of meth lead deputies to a drug house where they made multiple arrests. (They call these types of dogs “Meth Labs”.)
➠ Tom Wopat from “The Dukes of Hazzard” fame is 69 today. (He’ll have a birthday party at his place, but you’re only allowed to enter by jumping through the window…)
➠ The new iPhone 12 release date has been pushed back by a week, but could be released at any time, a spokesperson said. (I won’t be buying it. I’m waiting on a third stimulus from the government where the phone is built-in to the deal.)
➠ Adam Sandler turned 54 today. (Meanwhile, his sense of humor turned 6…)

Flying into Hump Day like:

• Early comic book artists took inspiration for superheroes’ tights and capes from what profession?
a) Professional wrestlers [CORRECT]
b) Ballet dancers
c) Kings
d) Religious leaders

• What was the nickname given to the first TV remote control?
a) Clicker
b) Lazy Bones [CORRECT]
c) Barcalounger
d) Telly Commander

• Which is NOT the name of an actual failed social media site?
a) Meerkat
b) YourSpace [CORRECT]
c) FriendFeed
d) YikYak


What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever put in your kid’s school lunch?

My friend said I’m self-absorbed, so I took a long, hard look at myself…Beautiful.


Question:  The average age of a purchaser of THIS is 42. What is it?
Answer:  A motorcycle


Education costs money. But then so does ignorance.


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