September 11 2020

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Friday, September 11, 2020 — Edition: #6806

You Really Know Your Sheet!

★ “The Walking Dead” will end after the upcoming Season 11, but some characters will live on. AMC has ordered a spinoff series built around the characters ‘Daryl Dixon’ and ‘Carol Peletier’ (played by Norman Reedus and Melissa McBride). Season 11 of the network’s flagship show, which was originally meant to air this year but was delayed due to the pandemic, will air over two years and consist of 24 episodes beginning in late 2021. The episode originally intended to be the Season 10 finale is set to air on Oct. 4 after being delayed in April, also due to the pandemic.
★ “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” is gearing up for Season 18 and it’s safe to say the premiere will be unlike any other. In a press release about the show’s return on Sept. 21, Ellen said she will address the controversy surrounding her show, writing: “I can’t wait to get back to work and back to our studio. And, yes, we’re gonna talk about it.” “It” would be allegations of the daytime show’s toxic culture. “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” has been the subject of troubling reports for months about intimidation, racial insensitivity and sexual misconduct in the workplace.
★ Kevin Hart will host the return of a popular telethon once spearheaded by Jerry Lewis to fight muscular dystrophy. The Muscular Dystrophy Association has announced the MDA Kevin Hart Kids Telethon. The two-hour, star-studded virtual fundraiser will air Oct. 24. Celebrity guests will include Michael B. Jordan, Eva Longoria, Jack Black, Usain Bolt, Josh Gad and Jillian Mercado, who was diagnosed with MD as a child. Hart said the telethon’s return is an “incredible opportunity” to bring back the work of Lewis, who helped make the Labor Day Muscular Dystrophy Association telethon a television tradition for decades.
★ Jay Leno is set to host a revival of classic game show “You Bet Your Life,” which will debut on Fox in the Fall of 2021. The original “You Bet Your Life,” hosted by Groucho Marx of The Marx Brothers, aired throughout the 1950s and into the early ’60s. In the reboot, two strangers will team up for the opportunity to win prize money by answering questions about pre-determined categories.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): John David Washington, Snoh Aalegra, guest host Samuel L. Jackson
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kelly Clarkson, Joy Reid, the Flaming Lips
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Lucinda Williams (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chris Evans, Action Bronson, Elle King, Nikki Glaspie (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jason Sudeikis, Tori Kelly (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): John Kasich, Eva Longoria
• “The Talk” (CBS): 2000th episode celebration (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Drew Scott, Jason Cameron
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Season 17 highlights, including Nicole Kidman, Charlize Theron, Margot Robbie, Steve Carell, Brothers Osborne (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Danny DeVito, Meredith Hagner, Mikel Welch (R)
• “9/11 Remembered: The Day We Came Together” (ABC): The 2014 opening of the 9/11 Memorial Museum at the site of the World Trade Center; President Barack Obama, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, survivors, family members, first responders and more share their personal stories.
• “9/11: The Final Minutes Of Flight 93” (HISTORY): On 9/11, one hijacked plane never reached its target when United 93 crashed in rural Pennsylvania; previously classified streams of evidence are combined to piece together what really happened.

• “48 Hours” (CBS): Premiere. Investigative reports on crime and justice cases.
• “Coastal Elites” (HBO): Jay Roach directs a pandemic-set, home-filmed comedy starring Issa Rae, Bette Midler, Kaitlyn Dever, Dan Levy, and Sarah Paulson.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Jennifer Lopez, with musical guest DaBaby (R)

• “Halloween Wars: (FOOD): Season 10 premiere. Six teams consisting of an expert pumpkin carver, a cake artist and a sugar master dive into the first challenge: creating spookily delicious displays of Halloween haunts.
• “Van der Valk” (PBS): Premiere. Two apparently unrelated men are found murdered in two different places in Amsterdam on the same day, raising questions as to whether they are linked, and if they have anything to do with the disappearance of an activist student.

• Justin Timberlake — is working with a group known as “Music City Baseball” to establish a Major League Baseball team in Nashville. In 2018, commissioner Rob Manfred mentioned the city as a possible location for an expansion team. Timberlake is already a minority owner of the NBA’s Memphis Grizzlies.
• Shawn Mendes – will perform at the Toronto International Film Festival Tribute Awards on Tues. TIFF is also partnering with the Shawn Mendes Foundation to present a new $10,000 award in support of civic-minded cinema. The ceremony will be broadcast live on CTV.
• 50 Cent – has shared video of himself handing out $30,000 in cash to the workers of a Burger King in Queens, NY. He joined friend and entrepreneur Jay Mazini in shocking the crew by handing them cash through the drive-thru window. They distributed some bucks to a few customers as well.
• Rush — Taylor Hawkins of Foo Fighters and Chad Smith of Red Hot Chili Peppers highlight an all-star group of drummers who will pay tribute to late drummer Neil Peart tomorrow night. The benefit for brain tumor research at Cedar-Sinai Medical Center in LA will be aired on Fite.TV.
•  The Cure — Robert Smith says he has spent much of 2020 “finishing off” a new album from the band as well as a solo record. This week, he released ‘Strange Timez’, his collaboration with Gorillaz.
• Carrie Underwood – is one of three new performers added to the 2020 ACM Awards set for Wed. Sept. 16 on CBS. Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani and Trisha Yearwood will also perform at the virtual event, which will be broadcast from three iconic locations in Nashville — the Ryman Auditorium, The Bluebird Cafe and the Grand Ole Opry.
• Florida Georgia Line – They’ve collaborated with a lot of artists, but there’s one legendary country-rock ensemble that’s still on their wish list. Singer Brian Kelley says it would “be a dream come true” for him to sing with the Eagles — even more so now that Vince Gill is a member.

If you’ve ever thought that it would be pretty awesome if your phone had a “breathalyzer” app that could tell you if you’re OK to drive, it turns out that it DOES…sort of. Scientists from University of Pittsburgh have published research showing that they can use smartphone motion data to detect if a person is intoxicated. That’s right, researchers loaded test subjects up on vodka and lime juice and looked at their walking gaits as compared to how they walked before drinking. They found that participants’ smartphone data could be used to tell if they were inebriated with 93% accuracy.
(Still not as accurate as my wife…)
(They should analyze your DANCING after a few drinks, not your walking!)
(Really, all they had to do was look at their texts!)

➢ A UK student who left his apartment window open before going away for five months found his home taken over by pigeons. Oluwageorge Johnson had to leave in a hurry in March, after his parents showed up to take him home, because of Covid-19, and he accidentally left a window open. Apparently, pigeons decided to make the apartment their home. No one disturbed the birds for over five months, until workers heard strange sounds and went in to investigate. They found the whole place covered in bird droppings, eggs in the kitchen sink and pigeon feathers everywhere. (I’ve had roommates who were worse!)
➢ A 17-year-old in India says he has been bitten by the same wild snake eight times in a single month. Yashraj Mishra says he lives in constant fear after being targeted by a snake for reasons that remain unknown. After learning of his plight, the teen’s family took him to the doctor for treatment and appealed to snake charmers, but nothing seemed to stop the snake. After he was bitten for the third time, the family even shipped the teen to a relative’s home in a neighboring village, but the slithering reptile allegedly tracked him down and bit him again…  (I’m guessing it’s a non-poisonous snake?)

 A new survey has found that many people seem to still have the bills on their mind even when they’re getting intimate. One in 10 people say they turn the lights off when making love just to save money on their electricity bill. The poll of 2,000 British adults also found that being self-conscious and being unable to relax are reasons people shut off the lights. The survey, commissioned by Utilita Energy, shows that although more male respondents want to keep the lights on in the bedroom than women, among those trying to save money, men are twice as likely to cut the power during a bedroom romp.


1953 [67] Tommy Shaw, Montgomery, AL, rock guitarist-singer (Styx-‘Renegade’, Damn Yankees-‘High Enough’)

1965 [55] Moby (Richard Melville Hall), New York NY, pop singer, DJ, producer, photographer, animal rights activist. (‘Porcelain’, ‘Natural Blues’)

1967 [53] Harry Connick Jr, New Orleans LA, TV personality (“Harry” 2016-18, “American Idol” 2010-2016)/singer-composer (‘Every Man Should Know’)/movie actor (“P.S. I Love You″)/TV actor (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” 2012)

1970 [50] Taraji P Henson, Washington DC, TV actress (‘Cookie Lyon’ on “Empire” 2015-20)/movie actress (“Hustle & Flow”, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”)

1977 [43] Jonny Buckland, London UK, rock guitarist (Coldplay-‘Yellow’, ‘Viva la Vida’)

1977 [43] Ludacris (Christopher Bridges), Champaign IL, rapper (‘Money Maker’)/movie actor (“Fast & Furious″ franchise)

1981 [39] Charles Kelley, Augusta GA, country singer/guitarist (Lady A-‘Need You Now’, ‘We Owned the Night’)

SATURDAY- Comedian Louis CK is 53; Jennifer Nettles (Sugarland) is 46; 2 Chainz (w/Wiz Khalifa-‘We Own It’) is 43; Jennifer Hudson (“Dreamgirls”) is 39; Emmy Rossum (“Shameless”) is 34; Kelsea Ballerini (‘Love Me Like You Mean It’) is 27

SUNDAY- Tyler Perry (“Madea”) is 51; Fashion designer Stella McCartney is 49; Joe Don Rooney (Rascal Flatts) is 47; Fiona Apple (‘Criminal’) is 43; Niall Horan (One Direction) is 27; Lili Reinhart (“Riverdale”) is 24

TODAY IS . . .
• “9/11 Remembrance Day” (Patriot Day in the U.S.), 19 years ago at 8:46 am EDT, terrorists began the attack on NYC’s World Trade Center using hijacked airliners. The Pentagon in Arlington VA was subsequently targeted, and an attempt by passengers and crew of United Airlines Flight 93 to retake control of their hijacked plane caused it to crash in a Pennsylvania field, killing all 64 people on board.  Patriot Day is in memory of the people killed in the attacks.
• “Emergency Number Day”, saluting the direct-dial 9-1-1 emergency system. (In the UK it’s 9-9-9; in Australia 0-0-0, in New Zealand 1-1-1, in much of Europe 1-1-2)
• “Hot Cross Buns Day”, a sweet, spiced bun made with currants or raisins and leavened with yeast. As the name suggests, these baked goodies are marked with a cross on the top, which is supposed to symbolize the crucifixion.  (Now? I thought they were an ‘Easter’ thing??)
• “Make Your Bed Day”, many of us don’t make our beds every morning. Today, start the good habit of making your bed. Once you start, it will make you feel better, and it is also good for your sleep. (Plus, if your spouse is still in there, it’ll drive him/her nuts!)
• “No News is Good News Day”, a day to take a break from all the bad news about catastrophes, disasters, crisis and sorrow. It is good opportunity to turn off the news for a while, enjoy the silence and stop thinking about all the bad things. (Turn off the news? This public service message NOT brought to you by this station!!)
• “I Want to Start My Own Business Day”, if you really want to start your own business, your first step is to write down your goal. (After that?  Uh…I don’t have a clue…)

• “Chocolate Milkshake Day”. The original recipe, which appeared in a British newspaper in 1885, called for a shot of whiskey.
• “National Video Games Day”, it is one of the most popular entertainment industries in the world, surpassing movies and music in annual revenue. This is a day to acknowledge the art and science behind video games and to appreciate the skills required to play them. (Skill #1? Be under 30…) [***See “Today’s Firsts”, below***]
• “Police Woman Day”, The first police woman may have been Marie Owens, hired by the Chicago Police Department in 1891.
• “National Day of Encouragement”, dedicated to uplifting people around us and making a positive impact. Today, do something to offer encouragement, whether it is someone at work or in your personal life. (You are strongly encouraged to do so)

• “Defy Superstition Day”, a day to stare down your superstitions. So, walk under a ladder, break a mirror, let a black cat cross your path, open an umbrella indoors, and do all those other things that many think are bad luck. (Do two negatives make a positive?)
• “Fortune Cookie Day”, celebrating the tasty little treats with a slip of paper inside that bring you good luck, a whimsical saying, or a philosophical thought. It’s thought they were invented in San Francisco in the 1890s. 3 billion fortune cookies are made each year, almost all of them in the US. (BS FastFact: Fortune cookies didn’t make their way to China until 1989, where they were sold as “genuine American fortune cookies”.)
• “International Chocolate Day”, celebrating ‘the greatest substance known to humanity’. It’s a day for indulgence that should be free of guilt (until you get on the scale tomorrow morning)
• “Peanut Day” Peanuts are not really nuts at all but legumes (edible seeds enclosed in pods). As a group, legumes provide the best source of concentrated protein in the plant kingdom (and how perfect is it that it is also Chocolate Day?)
• “Bald is Beautiful Day”, a day that we can stop hiding and finally start celebrating the thing that haunts many individuals all over the world. Today, being bald is beautiful. There will be no hats, crooked toupees, or cover ups of any sort. Let it shine!
• “Positive Thinking Day”. It’s all about attitude … a positive attitude. (And I’m positive this is never gonna fly…)
• “Hug Your Hound Day”, whether you share your life with a pit bull, beagle, great big Great Dane or tiny chihuahua, today’s “howliday” celebrates those loyal and faithful companions. It serves as a reminder of the importance of keeping our four-legged friends happy, healthy and safe.

2003 [17] John Ritter (“8 Simple Rules”, “Three’s Company”) dies in a Burbank CA hospital at age 54 of complications due to an enlarged aorta

1962 [58] Drummer Ringo Starr replaces Pete Best of the Beatles (A later Pete Best solo album was titled “Best of the Beatles”)

1977 [43] David Bowie appears on Bing Crosby’s “Merrie Olde Christmas special”. Bowie refuses to sing ‘Little Drummer Boy’ with Crosby, so his part is rewritten as ‘Peace on Earth’. Crosby dies a month later, and the duet becomes a Christmas classic after it is aired later that year

2002 [18] James Brown’s daughters Deanna & Yamma sue their dad for royalties from songs they allegedly helped co-write, including the 1976 hit ‘Get Up Offa That Thing’, which they would have assisted him with when they were … 3 and 6 respectively

1977 [43] The Atari 2600, originally known as the Atari Video Computer System is released, revolutionizing the video game industry

1999 [21] 17-year-old emerging tennis phenom Serena Williams wins her first US Open women’s title and first Grand Slam singles’ tournament, beating top-seeded Martina Hingis

2013 [07] A 400-km (240 mile) long human chain called “Catalan Way” is organized by the Assemblea Nacional Catalana to promote the independence of Catalonia from Spain


✓ With enough training, an elephant can throw a baseball faster than a man can.
✓ A field bee flies 50,000 miles to collect enough nectar to produce a pound of honey.
✓ It costs about $300,000 to produce a two-minute movie trailer.
✓ The CIA once called an assassination team the “Health Alteration Committee.”
✓ If you have metal fillings, chewing aluminum foil can generate up to two volts of electric current.
✓ In 2015, a teenager named Bud Weisser was arrested for trespassing at a Budweiser Brewery in St. Louis.
-UberFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .

• Unnecessary buffness
• Too many players in the friend zone
• Touchdown celebration looks too much like the pee-pee dance
• Illegal use of an orange peel for a mouth guard
• Being a Bengal: automatic loss of game
• 12 men in the cuddle
• 2 minutes for high-sticking
• Sportsmanship
• Being too ‘handsy’ with the other team
• Deflating the ball . . .Oh, wait – apparently that’s OK
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

➠ The new iPhone 11 looks similar to previous models, but is lighter, thinner and has more cameras. (Kinda like Kendall and Kylie Jenner…)
➠ A rare earthquake shocked New Jersey on Wednesday. (“Aw, man!  NOW where are we going to vacation?” Said nobody, ever.)
➠ Donald Trump has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. (In related news, Trump’s biggest achievement as president of the United States: Being Nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.)
➠ Tony nominee Josh Groban has announced a new album and concert tour dates. (You can visit his website to purchase tickets. (You WON’T, but you CAN…)
➠ Football season is underway. (I fully expect my team to finish first. . . In the 2021 draft.

Sliding into Friday like:

What celebrity do you have an embarrassing or secret crush on?

I saw a chameleon today. Obviously not a very good one.

Question:  The most common recurring dreams include: #1 – falling, and #2 – being chased. What is # 3?
Answer:  Being back in school as an adult

There never was a good war or bad peace.


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