Tuesday, September 3, 2019        Edition: #6522

If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kevin Hart is expected to fully recover after sustaining back injuries in a car accident. A police report says the 40-year-old comedian was a passenger in a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda that went off Mulholland Highway and rolled down an embankment around 12:45 a.m. Sunday. Hart and the driver, 28-year-old Jared Black, both suffered “major back injuries” and were taken to hospital. Another passenger, a 31-year-old female, did not require hospitalization. Hart had taken to social media on Saturday to post a video of himself driving the classic car, as someone yelled at him for laying down too much rubber on the street as he spun out his tires.
-ContactMusic
★ Seth Rogen and wife Lauren Miller say that they have given each other a “hall pass” in case Brad Pitt or Charlize Theron ever ask to sleep with them. The couple were promoting the “Hilarity For Charity” Alzheimer’s benefit when the host cheekily asked if they had given each other permission to sleep with stars. Miller quickly responded, “Oh, there’s a hall pass for Brad Pitt,” before adding: “We’ve named our quilt Brad Pitt because it gets so hot.” Ironically, Rogen got to live out his dreams on film when he and Theron played unlikely lovers in “Long Shot”.
-Canoe
★ Alex Trebek is back on the “Jeopardy!” set after undergoing chemotherapy to beat stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Trebek returned to the game show five months after he was diagnosed with the illness, and in a new video, he tells fans he is “on the mend” ahead of the premiere of the 36th season of the program on Monday (Sept. 9).
-MSN
★ A Dior advertising campaign featuring Johnny Depp has been pulled following protests from Native American activists. The promo videos for the French luxury brand’s “Sauvage” perfume feature Depp playing guitar in the desert while his Native American co-star Canku One Star of the Rosebud Sioux Tribe performs a warrior dance in a traditional headdress and clothing. But the ads prompted a furious backlash, with the brand accused of disrespecting and profiting from Native American culture, causing them to be pulled from Dior’s social media channels.
-Canoe
★ Joaquin Phoenix says he ”started to go mad” while preparing for his lead role in “Joker”. Phoenix lost 52 pounds to portray Batman’s most famous foe in the upcoming DC Comics origins story, and he says that his rapid weight loss helped him get into character. Phoenix says: ”It turns out that affects your psychology. You start to go mad.” While he lost the weight quickly, one aspect of the role that took him some time to grasp was his character’s distinctive laugh, and he even made director Todd Phillips ”audition” it to ensure he’d got the sound right.” “Joker” opens on Oct. 4.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kobe Bryant, Miles Brown, Marina
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Bill Hader, Cara Delevingne, Lester Holt, Alec Benjamin
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jim Gaffigan, Ann Curry
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Tatiana Schlossberg, Carter McLean
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Dominic Cooper, Jonathan Groff, Red Hearse
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Jon Lovitz, Lauren Sivan, Pete Holmes
• “Conan” (TBS): Conan Without Borders: Italy (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Michael Rapaport, Dorinda Medley (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Nick Cannon (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Maggie Gyllenhaal, Audra Fordin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): George Clooney (R)
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC): Clay contemplates a drastic resolution to his situation; Blake comes to a resolution that depends on Kristina offering him a rose; Dean’s return forces Caelynn to make a decision.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Semifinals 1
• “Mayans M.C. (FX): Season 2 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Bieber — proclaimed he had the best day of his life after finding out that he is related to fellow Canadian stars Ryan Gosling and Avril Lavigne. Bieber posted a list, generated by ancestry.com, that was able to connect the three by DNA over many generations.
• Camila Cabello — has dropped a teaser about her upcoming album. On Saturday, she posted three video clips with the caption: “What do I know about love?” In the snippets, Cabello reveals just what, exactly, she “knows about love”, including: “I know when you fall in love, you feel like you’re the first and only two people in the world.”
• 50 Cent – says that Chris Brown has overtaken Michael Jackson as the king of pop. Fiddy took to social media to proclaim that Brown is “better” than Michael Jackson. He also shared a screenshot of another tweet that stated Chris Brown has now sold 69.5M singles in the US, making him the 7th best selling singles artist of all time.
• Ozzy Osbourne – will appear as a guest artist on rapper Post Malone’s upcoming album. “Hollywood’s Bleeding” is set for release on Sept. 6. Malone announced the guest list via Instagram, including Future, Halsey, Meek Mill, Travis Scott and Osbourne.
• Paul McCartney – in an interview to promote his new children’s book “Hey Grandude!”, he revealed that one of his grandchildren was recently mugged at knifepoint. He also opened up about a similar experience he had growing up in Liverpool. The book comes out on Thursday.
• Pink Floyd – will release “Pink Floyd The Later Years”, a 16-disc set (5 CDs, 5 DVDs, 6 Blu-rays) plus a photo book and memorabilia) covering the group’s output from 1987 onwards. A “Highlights” package, available as both a single CD or double-LP, will also be released. Both come out Nov. 29.
• Keith Urban – Taylor Swift was once his opening act — now he has covered one her songs in concert. Urban treated a Washington State Fair audience to his rendition of Swift’s current single ‘Lover’ on Saturday. Swift posted that he covered the song “flawlessly.”
• Kane Brown – has posted on Instagram Stories that his management team will be taking control of his Facebook and Twitter accounts “from now on so I can focus on music and my family and stay off my phone.” He wrote that social media is “taking over my life.” Brown has been one of country music’s most active artists on social media.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES: (Streaming and/or DVD)
• “Dark Phoenix” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  Jean Grey begins to develop incredible powers that corrupt and turn her into a Dark Phoenix. Now the X-Men will have to decide if the life of a team member is worth more than all of humanity. (James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence)
• “Canal Street” (PG-13, Drama):  After being arrested for the murder of a white classmate, a young black man’s father fights in court for his son’s vindication. (Lance Reddick, Michael Beach)
• “Cold Blood” (Not Rated, Action/Adventure):  A legendary hitman retires in isolation to the barren North American wilderness. When he rescues a woman from a snowmobile accident, he discovers she may be harboring a secret that could force a return to his lethal ways. (Jean Reno, Sarah Lind)
• “Into the Ashes” (Not Rated, Action/Adventure):  Nick is an ex-con adjusting to a normal life in rural Alabama. When some former associates track him down, he is forced back into the desperate and violent life he thought he left behind. (Luke Grimes, Frank Grillo)

THE REAL LABOR DAY:
You’d better get set to roll up your sleeves today. A new survey says 35% of office workers believe that Tuesday is the most productive day of the week. And in spite of its nasty reputation, 25% of us think Monday is the day we get the most done. Wednesdays came in third at 18%, followed by Thursdays at 12% and good old Fridays at 10%. The survey of 400 office workers was done for the staffing firm Accountemps.
(…who would love to supply your office with some temporary workers to help you out on those busy Tuesdays!)
(That explains why Larry in accounting books all his holidays on Tuesdays!)
(My most productive day is definitely Friday…when I realize that if I don’t get something done, I’m never getting out of here…)
-CBC

READIN’, WRITIN’, AND REAL-LIFE SKILLS:
Sure, students learn a lot of things at school, but does what they learn prepare them for the real world? A school in Texas is aiming to do just that with a new class called “Adulting 101”. Cedar Ridge High School in Round Rock is offering the class, which teaches “basic life skills”, aimed at teaching students how to cook healthy meals, write a resume, interview for a job and manage money, among other things. The course is still evolving, and the school plans to add other valuable lessons to the curriculum, such as basic automotive skills.
(Adulting 101? At least they’re also teaching their students the finer points of massacring the English language…)
(Of course if you don’t ace the “job interview” part, there’s no sense taking the “managing money” classes!)
-NYPost

OUTRAGEOUS THINGS SAID BY STUDENTS:
(According to teachers…)
☞ “I can’t wear my new glasses in your class because it’s math. The doctor said they are just for reading.”
☞ (While watching a “Walking with Dinosaurs” video) “Is this actual footage?”
☞ (Teacher wrote on the whiteboard: “William Shakespeare [1564-1616]”) Sixth grader said: “Is that Shakespeare’s real phone number?”
☞ “How do you spell UFO?”
☞ “I used to write my name in cursive. Now I just write it in English.”
☞ (After a stressful day, the teacher remarked that she had “Had it for the day”. A pre-kindergartener replied): “Oh Mrs. S. you just need a wine cooler.”
-WeAreTeachers

DID YOU KNOW?
Why is it that the game of tennis uses scores of 15, 30, and 40 instead of 1, 2, and 3 points? When tennis was first played in its current form, scores were kept by moving the hands of a clock to the positions of 15, 30, and 45. For some reason, 45 evolved into 40. The term ‘love’ for a score of zero comes from the French word for egg – l’oeuf [loof].
-GrandSlamTennisTips

BS CHRONOMETER 09.03.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1965 [54] Charlie Sheen (Carlos Estevez), NYC, TV actor (“Anger Management” 2012-14, “Two & a Half Men” 2003-11)/movie actor (“Major League” movies, “Platoon”)/actor Martin Sheen’s son

1975 [44] Redfoo (Stefan Gordy), LA CA, pop singer-DJ-rapper (LMFAO-‘Sexy & I Know It’, ‘Party Rock Anthem’)

1979 [40] Tomo Miličević, Sarajevo, Bosnia & Herzegovina, alt-rock guitarist (30 Seconds to Mars-‘This Is War’, ‘Kings & Queens’)

1986 [33] Shaun White, San Diego CA, snowboarder/skateboarder (3 Olympic Golds, set a record by claiming more X-Games gold medals than any other competitor)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “National Flag Day” in Australia, honoring the country’s national pennant picked in 1901.

• “Skyscraper Day”, a day to appreciate and admire the world’s tallest buildings. By definition, a skyscraper is any structure that clearly stands out above its surrounding environment. A loose agreement in North America & Europe puts the lower limit of a skyscraper at 150 meters (500 ft). A skyscraper taller than 300 meters (984 ft) is referred to as ‘supertall’.
WORLD’S TALLEST BUILDINGS:
5. Lotte World Tower (Seoul, South Korea) … 554.5m (1,819 ft)
4. Ping An Finance Centre (Shenzhen, China) …599m (1,965ft)
3. Abraj Al-Bait Clock Tower (Mecca, Saudi Arabia) … 601 m (1,971 ft)
2. Shanghai Tower (Shanghai, China) … 632 m (2,073 ft)
1. Burj Dubai (Dubai UAE) … 828 m (2,717 ft)

• “Welsh Rarebit Day”, saluting the traditional dish that, explained simply, is melted cheese on bread. But anyone who’s had it knows it’s far more exotic than that, incorporating butter, flour, cheddar, dry mustard, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce, and – optionally – beer.

• “Another Look Unlimited Day”, always the day after Labor Day, devoted annually to lessening the flow to landfills, and is reserved for taking a second look around your house, attic, basement, garage or any storage area where you may find possessions you no longer need.  (And doing what?  Taking them to the landfill?)

• “Telephone Tuesday”, if it seems like going back to work the Tuesday after Labor Day is always met with a bombardment of calls and a never-ending line of people on hold, it’s not just you. Businesses often experience the phenomenon known as Telephone Tuesday, when they receive more inbound calls than on any other day of the year.

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Eat an Extra Dessert Day
[Wed] Macadamia Nut Day
[Thurs] Cheese Pizza Day
[Thurs] Be Late For Something Day
This Week Is…National Waffle Week
This Month Is…Baby Safety Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1966 [53] TV show “Star Trek” debuts with a private showing at the “World Science Fiction Convention” in Cleveland, Ohio (attended by the first ‘geeks’)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009 [10] A private funeral for Michael Jackson is held at the Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California, more than 2 months after his sudden death on June 25th

2017 [02] Steely Dan co-founder and guitarist Walter Becker dies of esophageal cancer at 67

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1895 [124] 1st ‘professional football game’ (Latrobe, Pennsylvania YMCA beats Jeannette Athletic Club 12-0)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1970 [49] ‘Largest hailstone’ lands in Kansas … 17.5 inches in circumference, weighing 1.67 pounds and estimated by scientists to have struck the ground at the speed of 105 MPH

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK SCHOOL FACTS:
✓ Teachers originally did not want pencils to have erasers because it was believed it would encourage children to make mistakes.
✓ The crayon ranks #18 on the list of most recognizable scents, according to a Yale study.
✓ Before the school calendar became national, students in rural areas of the US went from December to March and May to August so kids could be home for spring planting and fall harvesting.  In urban centers, kids were given the hot summer off to prevent the spread of disease.
✓ In Chile, students are given 12 weeks off from mid-December to early March.  German children?  Just 6 weeks.
✓ The biggest school in the world is in Lucknow, India, with more than 32,000 students
✓ ‘Didaskaleinophobia’ is the fear of going to school.  2.4% of school-aged children are considered to have it.
-TodaysParent, KidsPlayandCreate

Best of BS . . .
FUN THINGS FOR PROFESSORS TO DO DURING FIRST CLASS:
• After confirming everyone’s names on the roll, thank the class for attending ‘Advanced Astrodynamics 690′ and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop the course.
• Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses with a stopwatch. Record their times in your grade book while muttering “tsk, tsk”.
• Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside.
• Announce to students that their entire grade will be based on a single-question oral final exam. Imply that this could happen at any moment.
• Announce that last year’s students have almost finished their class projects.
• Warn students that they should bring a bagged lunch to exams.
• Begin class by smashing the neck off a bottle of vodka, and announce that the lecture’s over when the bottle’s done.
-First published in BS in 2014

BS THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO NEWLYWEDS:
• Sorry I missed your wedding, I’ll catch the next one.
• Wow, you both look so similar! Are you sure you’re not related?
• You may now kiss the bride. Everyone else has.
• When’s the baby due?
• I guarantee you that eventually just his breathing will send you over the edge.
• Did they ever solve your last wife’s disappearance?
• Enjoy the honeymoon. After that, say goodbye to your sex life.
• Why was she wearing white?
• Call me when it’s over
• Congratulations?
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn’t stop until you get to school.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Who was the weirdest teacher that you ever had? What did he/she do?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• If you drew a line with a standard pencil, how long would the line be when the pencil ran out of lead?
a. 5 miles
b. 15 miles
c. 35 miles [CORRECT]
d. 500 yards

• What is the name for the spots on dice?
a. Pits
b. Pats
c. Pips [CORRECT]
d. Craps
-PubTimeUselessTrivia

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  According to drivers, What is the #1 annoyance when it comes to their morning commute?
Answer: Getting stuck behind a school bus.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.