September 4 2018

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Tuesday, September 4, 2018        Edition: #6285

Sheet For Brains!

★ Three episodes of “Parts Unknown” — two featuring appearances by Asia Argento and a third that she directed — have been pulled by CNN following allegations of sexual assault against the former girlfriend of Anthony Bourdain. Last week, Argento was fired from her role on “X Factor Italy” but she will still appear in the initial episodes of the season because those had already been pre-taped.
★ A baby Bond has been born.  Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz have reportedly welcomed their first child together, a baby girl. The pair both have children from previous marriages. Craig shares a 26 year-old daughter, Ella, with his ex-wife Fiona Loudon, and Weisz is mother to 12-year-old Henry with ex-partner Darren Aronofsky.  Craig and Weisz first announced they were expecting in April, in a statement which included the line: “We’re going to have a little human.”
★ Kevin Spacey’s former “House of Cards” co-star Robin Wright thinks he should be given the chance to ”reform”, following his sexual assault scandal. Wright said that she believes all human beings, including Spacey, deserve a ”second chance”, providing they can show ”growth” from their actions. Last month, it was reported that Spacey is facing a new allegation of sexual assault, which is being investigated by LA County District Attorney’s Office.
★ “A Star Is Born” received an eight-minute ovation at its world premiere at the Venice Film Festival.  That came after the musical drama’s gala screening was marred by a roughly 15-minute interruption due to a technical glitch caused by lightning. After loud cheers and clapping following the end credits, star Lady Gaga smiled and looked relieved, and Bradley Cooper, who not only stars in the film, but also directed it, said “thank you for staying!”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Rami Malek, Jennifer Love Hewitt, the Lemon Twigs
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ethan Hawke, Lil Rel Howery, Meek Mill
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Krasinski, Yvonne Orji
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chris Cuomo, Jerrod Carmichael, Ruston Kelly, Allison Miller & Pearl Aday
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Alice Eve, Mark Duplass, Wyatt Cenac
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Olivia Munn, Keegan-Michael Key, Sterling K. Brown, Thomas Jane, Trevante Rhodes, Alfie Allen, Augusto Aguilera, Jake Busey, Yvonne Strahovski, Shane Black (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ashlee Simpson, Evan Ross
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sonia Sotomayor
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Maggie Gyllenhaal, Penn Badgley, Rosanna Pansino
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Nicki Minaj
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Live Semi Finals
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC): Two couples from Paradises past choose a couple to send on a spectacular date.
• “The Bobby Brown Story” (BET): Part 1 of 2. He becomes one of the biggest and most successful entertainers in the world by the age of 20, and shocks the world with his marriage to Whitney Houston, but their shared struggle with addiction derails both of their careers.
• “Mayans M.C.” (FX): EZ’s fate is in flux as the M.C. and the cartel find a common adversary in the series premiere of this spinoff of “Sons of Anarchy.”

• Ariana Grande – Legendary Motown singer Smokey Robinson says that the black minidress that she wore to perform at Aretha Franklin’s funeral was “inappropriate”.  Quote: “I love her. I think she’s a great talent, but somebody in her camp should have told her she was at a funeral.”
• Jennifer Lopez – told Entertainment Tonight that one of her biggest onstage mishaps was when she chipped her tooth “and had to finish the show. Like, literally knocked my tooth out and I’m like, ‘Oh!’ ”  Lopez said that after her accident, she went backstage and was encouraged to finish the performance.
• Meek Mill – went back to his old school last week to hand out 6,000 Puma backpacks and school supplies to students at Blaine Elementary School in Philadelphia. 
• Paul McCartney – says that he once saw God during a psychedelic trip. He described it as “huge,” and a “massive wall” they couldn’t see over, where he was “at the bottom.” According to the legendary songster, many people would explain it away as just a “hallucination,” but him and the rest of his friends “saw a higher thing.”
• U2 – were forced to abandon a concert after five songs in Berlin, Germany Saturday night after frontman Bono suffered what was described as “a complete loss of voice.”  A statement from the band said that he is “taking medical advice”.  (***Watch for dating***)Their Cologne show set for tonight is still officially a go.
• AC/DC – The new album that they are working on will feature the work of late rhythm guitarist Malcolm Young on “every track”.  A source says that the album will be dedicated to Malcom’s memory, and feature songs he wrote with his brother Angus years ago.  He died in November after retiring from the band due to early onset dementia.
• Dolly Parton – will reportedly be named MusiCares Person of the Year at the 2019 Grammy Awards in February. Previous winners include the late Aretha Franklin, Sir Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Stevie Wonder, Billy Joel and Paul Simon.
• George Strait – His long time drummer was killed in a car wreck outside of Nashville. 59-year-old Michael Kennedy of Baxter, Tennessee, died Friday when his vehicle collided with a tractor trailer, which then hit a pickup truck. No one else was injured.
• Lauren Alaina — canceled shows last week in Rochester, N.Y., and Panama City, Fla., due to a “family medical emergency.”  Her step-dad, Sam Ramker, has been battling Stage IV cancer since March.

• “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” (PG-13, Documentary):  An exploration of the life, lessons, and legacy of iconic children’s television host, Fred Rogers. (Joanne Rogers, Betty Aberlin)
• “Ghost Stories” (Not Rated, Drama/Mystery):  Skeptical professor Phillip Goodman embarks on a trip to the terrifying after finding a file with details of three unexplained cases of apparitions. (Andy Nyman, Martin Freeman)
• “Dark River” (Not Rated, Drama):  Following the death of her father, Alice returns to her home village for the first time in 15 years, to claim the tenancy to the family farm she believes is rightfully hers. (Ruth Wilson, Mark Stanley)
• “UFO” (PG-13, Drama/Science Fiction):  A college student who sees a UFO, uses his exceptional math skills to investigate the sighting with his friends while the FBI follows closely behind. (Alex Sharp, Ella Purnell)

As great as it is to “get away” for a week or two on a big vacation, some professionals are preaching the virtues of the “microvacation”.  What is a microvacation?  You might know it as a weekend getaway.  Or maybe a three-day weekend getaway.  With many workers claiming that they are afraid to book a whole week off…either due to concerns about job security or because they don’t think they can afford to go away for a week, time-management coach Elizabeth Grace Saunders says that a microvacation is the way to go for these people…or for anyone who feels the need for a break.  She defines microvacations as periods away from work that require you to use a day or less of vacation time. Their short duration comes with a load of benefits: You don’t have to arrange for someone to handle your work; you won’t come back to a mountain of emails; and you can do them a lot more often, which can help you avoid feeling burned out.  The idea is to book a Friday off work, and jet out of town to a destination of your choice on Thursday night, leaving you almost three whole days to relax and recharge your batteries.  Oh, and if you aren’t flying somewhere, take a train.  Driving can be stressful.
(I’m trying to find somewhere that I can get to on a Thursday night that email can’t get to at all!)
(I’ve got a feeling that my wife can still do a week’s worth of shopping in three days!)
(Perfect.  Now how do I tell my family that they can’t come?)


Caffeine is a basic food group to many — even high school students. But in South Korea, coffee has just been banned from schools.  Even for teachers.  A new law goes into effect on September 14th, banning coffee from all schools in an effort to keep students from consuming too much caffeine.  19% of high school students there say that they drink at least one cup of coffee per day, and more than half say they drink some form of caffeinated drink to wake up, despite being aware of the danger of consuming too much caffeine.  Other drinks with high caffeine levels, such as energy drinks, are already banned in Korean schools.  Critics point out that students can easily walk a few minutes from their schools to buy coffee or other caffeinated drinks.
(This wouldn’t have bothered me.  I drank my coffee at home, or I’d never have even made it to school!)
(Just a hunch, but there could be some very cranky teachers this year!)

⇒ Encourage Healthy Habits, and Make Them Easy:  Teenagers are known for thinking they are invincible, and that can lead to poor choices. You can’t control everything, but you can encourage them to eat healthfully.  And to make smart choices like wearing their seatbelts.  (Easy for me to say now…I’m just glad that they didn’t stop selling donuts at school until after I graduated!)
⇒ Stress Sufficient Amounts of Sleep:  You may need to insist they sleep with their phone in another room.  Sleep is essential for growing bodies and developing brains. It’s also a key component of good emotional and mental health.  (I love this . . I can set a good example by passing out on the couch every night after dinner!)
⇒ Remind Them That Their Teachers Want Them to Succeed:  Kids are often quick to adopt a them vs. me mentality. Teachers, even the stern and “mean” ones, don’t want kids to fail. Encourage kids to ask questions and seek additional help if needed.  (And not to post on social media about their teachers.  That’s just going to cause problems!)
⇒ Leave Time for Fun:  In spite of all those assignments and tests, kids need time to enjoy themselves.  You may need to schedule it, and that’s fine.  (Hey!  I need fun too!)
⇒ Ask More, Judge Less:  With new friends, new activities, and a new schedule, your mind could be racing about some of their choices and you’ll be doing some judging. Try to keep those judgments to yourself unless you are worried about your child’s safety.  Questions get your kid thinking, whereas judgments often result in kids digging in their heels.
⇒ Be the Parent:  Sometimes this is the stage when parents shift to being friends with their kids. Your kids have friends. They don’t have a lot of parents. They have you.  Set Boundaries.  Have expectations.  (Darn…I was thinking that if I became their friend, I wouldn’t have to give them an allowance!)


1960 [58] Kim Thayil, Seattle WA, alt-rock guitarist (Soundgarden-‘Spoonman’, ‘Black Hole Sun’)

1960 [58] Damon Wayans, New York City NY, TV actor (“Lethal Weapon” since 2016, “In Living Color” 1990-2001)

1975 [43] Mark Ronson, London UK, DJ/musician (w/Bruno Mars-‘Uptown Funk’)/music producer (Adele, Amy Winehouse, Christina Aguilera, etc)

1978 [40] Wes Bentley, Jonesboro AR, movie actor (“Hunger Games”)/TV actor (“American Horror Story” since 2014)

1980 [38] Max Greenfield, Dobbs Ferry NY, TV actor (‘Schmidt’ on “New Girl” 2011-18)

1981 [37] Beyoncé (Knowles-Carter), Houston TX, pop singer (‘Crazy in Love’, Destiny’s Child-‘Say My Name’)/wed to rapper Jay Z since 2008

1982 [36] Whitney Cummings, Washington DC, stand-up comedian/TV screenwriter (co-creator of “2 Broke Girls”)/TV actress (“Whitney” 2011-13)

1986 [32] Neyla Pekarek, Denver CO, indie music multi-instrumentalist (The Lumineers-‘Ho Hey’)

• “Macadamia Nut Day”, saluting the yummy nut first found in the rainforests of eastern Australia thousands of years ago by aboriginals. Though they can be toxic to dogs, they are super nutritious for humans.

•“Newspaper Carrier Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the 1st recorded ‘news boy’, 10 year-old Barney Flaherty, who began hawking the “New York Sun” 185 years ago in 1833.

• “Eat an Extra Dessert Day”, guiltlessly indulge yourself in a little extra dessert today and inform everyone you know about this happy holiday. We are convinced that it will soon become everyone’s favorite made-up holiday!

• “Take Another Look Day”, a day to survey your possessions and give surplus items to charity or reuse them in another project. In other words, slow the flow to landfills.

[Wed] Cheese Pizza Day
[Wed] Be Late For Something Day
[Thurs] Barbie Doll Day
[Thurs] Read a Book Day
This Week Is…National Waffle Week
This Month Is…Baby Safety Month


2006 [12] Steve Irwin, wildlife expert and host of “The Crocodile Hunter” wildlife TV series, dies in Batt Reef, Australia of a stingray barb (“Crikey!”)

2014 [04] Comedian, actress, and TV host Joan Rivers dies in NYC at age 81 after complications from a minor throat procedure at an outpatient clinic (daughter Melissa Rivers filed a malpractice suit, which was settled)

2015 [03] Muppets Missy Piggy and Kermit the Frog announce the end of their relationship on Twitter.

1984 [34] Prince’s “Purple Rain” album hits #1 & stays at the top of the chart for 24 weeks.

2002 [16] The debut “American Idol” competition on FOX-TV is won by Kelly Clarkson, a 20-year-old cocktail waitress from Texas.  Justin Guarini is the runner-up.

1995 [23] Online auction site ‘eBay’ is founded in San Jose, California by French-born Iranian-American computer programmer Pierre Omidyar (it is originally called ‘AuctionWeb’)

1998 [20] Google Inc is founded as a privately held company by 2 students at Stanford University, Sergey Brin & Lawrence Page, whose headquarters are located in a friend’s garage in Menlo Park, California


2011 [07] Competitive eater Sonya Thomas (‘The Black Widow’) is declared winner of the US Chicken Wing Eating Championship in Buffalo NY after consuming 183 wings in 12 minutes


✓ Since 1971, Lake Superior State University in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan has issued permits to unicorn hunters.
✓ Female bats give birth upside down, catching their young before they fall to the ground.
✓ The annual number of worldwide shark bites is one-tenth the number of people bitten by other people in New York.
✓ Humans are the only animals that blush.
✓ Fish cough.
✓ The wood frog can hold its pee for up to eight months.

• How to forge my parents’ signature.
• There is no greater joy than walking into class and seeing the A.V. cart.
• Coaches don’t give a flying frig about history class either.
• Cursive?  Totally unnecessary.
• Substitute teachers equal a field day for a smart-mouthed student.
• That gum under the desk?  Don’t chew that.
• A bottle of vodka can be conveniently carried in a guitar case.
• That’s the only time in your life that you will ever use a protractor.
• It is good to bring a gift for your teacher.  That gift should not be your pet snake.
• That I could make the word ‘BOOBS’ with my calculator.

• “The New Meryl Streep Movie That Will Get Her Nominated”
• “That Preview You Saw Where That Guy From That Show Cries and Tries to Act”
• “The One No One on Earth But the Studio Marketing Team Thinks Will Get Nominated”
• “The Cancer/AIDS/Slavery One”
• “Another One Not Directed By a Deserving Female Director”
• “That Book Your Wife Read”
• “Supposed to Be Good But You Know You’ll Never See It”
• “That Foreign Guy With the Unpronounceable Name Everyone Loves Directed This”
• “Everyone Says This is Great But No One Can Tell You What It’s Actually About”
• “Great Inspiring True Story About Someone Who Was Way Uglier Than the Actor Playing Him”
–First published in BS in 2014

What does your child absolutely have to have for back-to-school that you never did?

1.  Which of these weather phenomena can be found on Mars?
a. dust storms
b. frost
c. snowstorms
d. all of the above [CORRECT]

2.  To explore Mars, NASA is designing small flying robots that are modeled on what?
a. bees [CORRECT]
b. blue jays
c. locusts
d. helicopters

The two best days of school are the first and the last.


Question:  The most often recurring dreams include #1 – falling, and #2 – being chased.  What is number 3?
Answer:  Being back in school as an adult

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.


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