Friday, September 10, 2021 — Edition: #7064
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet will not be publishing Thursday September 16 through Friday September 17 to allow staff to enjoy a final summer vacation period. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service days. Following the Wednesday September 15 edition, the Bull Sheet will return for Monday September 20.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Bob Odenkirk has resumed production on “Better Call Saul” — 6 weeks after suffering a heart attack on set. The 58-year-old tweeted that he is “back to work” and credited makeup artist Cheri Montesanto for making him “not ugly for shooting” on his first day back. The show’s social media accounts celebrated his big return with a photo of him labeled “you can’t keep a good man down!”
★ On “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Wednesday, Drew Barrymore discussed a recent dinner she and her children had with Steven Spielberg, who directed one of her very first films, “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial”. She described Spielberg as a father figure to her, and since Barrymore’s youngest daughter, Frankie, is 7, almost exactly the same age Barrymore was when she filmed that movie, Spielberg decided to have a little fun with her. According to Barrymore, “He said, ‘Frankie, I want you to say this line: Alligators in the sewers.’ And she did. And then he looked at me like, ‘Yep, she’s got it.’” Barrymore says that was “a moment where I was like, ‘I can’t believe Steven’s directing my daughter at the same age, this is just so surreal.'”
★ Kylie Jenner has confirmed she’s pregnant. She took to Instagram to reveal she’s expecting her second child with rapper Travis Scott. Jenner, who already has 3-year-old Stormi with Scott, posted a video featuring her positive pregnancy test and a behind-the-scenes look at her undergoing an ultrasound. Rumors about her pregnancy first emerged last month, but until now, the Jenner/Kardashian clan have all remained tight-lipped amid the speculation.
★ On the occasion of the show’s 25th anniversary, Nick Jr. posted a long-awaited update from original “Blue’s Clues” host Steve Burns. Burns’ character left the show way back in 2002. In the new video that has already been viewed over 6 million times, Burns, wearing the shirt and hat he sported as host, explains that he left to attend college. Then comes the part that hit us in the feels. He says: “All the help that you helped me with when we were younger is still helping me today, right now. And that’s super cool. I guess I just wanted to say that after all these years, I never forgot you. Ever. And I’m super glad we’re still friends.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yynj8fs3
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kristen Bell, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Metallica
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Michael Keaton, Teyonah Parris, Chris Stapleton, Jerome Flood II (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Guest co-host Star Jones
• “The Talk” (CBS): Sonequa Martin-Green, guest co-host Jerry O’Connell
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jeff Daniels, Rachael Harris
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Exciting Moments from Season 18, featuring Adam Levine, Kevin Hart, Ayesha Curry
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Olivia Munn, Sarah Hyland, Amanda Seyfried, Meagan Good, Gina Torres, Cristin Milioti, Patty Griffin
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Best Of Week: Hugh Grant, Marie Kondo
• “The CIA: Race Against Time — The True Story of the CIA and 9/11” (CBS): Interviews with top officials and elite operatives inside the CIA who give first-person accounts of their efforts to warn about the potential of a cataclysmic attack orchestrated by Osama bin Laden.
• “Rise and Fall: The World Trade Center” (HISTORY): Two dozen interviews with those who helped create and construct the Twin Towers, those who worked in them, and those who survived 9/11.
• “9/11: Four Flights” (HISTORY): Marking 20 years since the 9/11 terror attacks, focusing on the 4 flights that took off that morning, and the stories of those aboard, from the loved ones left behind.
• “Roadhouse Romance” (HALLMARK): Lt. Callie Jackson returns home after a military tour to find her late grandfather’s barbecue joint is struggling, but a run-in with a TV director teaches her that sometimes it’s best to look forward instead of back.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Regé-Jean Page, with musical guest Bad Bunny (R)
• “60 Minutes” (CBS): Premiere. Firefighters remember their brave comrades who died on 9/11.
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Fran Drescher vs. Charles Shaughnessy and Jessie James Decker & Eric Decker vs. Chris Bosh
• “2021 MTV Video Music Awards” (MTV): Performers include: Camila Cabello, Foo Fighters, Justin Bieber ft. The Kid Laroi, Kacey Musgraves, and Olivia Rodrigo. Doja Cat hosts.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Bieber – The new doc “Justin Bieber: Our World” will hit Amazon Prime on October 8, showing the “intense and exciting” ride as he prepares for his New Year’s Eve 2020 live-streamed show on the rooftop of the Beverly Hilton hotel in Los Angeles, his first concert in 3 years.
• Lil Nas X – His long-awaited full-length debut “Montero” is at #1 on the Apple Music Pre-Add Chart, besting Abba’s first album in 40 years, which entered at #2. Pre-adds allow listeners to queue up an album to be added to their library when it’s released, offering a good indication of the albums fans are most excited for.
• Avicii – was honored with a Google Doodle on what would have been his 32nd birthday Wednesday. An animation of the EMD legend – who died by suicide in 2018 was soundtracked by his 2013 hit ‘Wake Me Up’. The doodle also coincided with National Suicide Prevention Week.
• Tupac Shakur – The 1996 BMW he was riding in when he was shot is for sale at the Celebrity Cars Las Vegas showroom — not too far from where the fatal shooting happened 25 years ago this week. The bullet holes have been repaired, and it is going for a whopping $1.7 million.
• Barenaked Ladies – singer Ed Robertson has revealed that he is working with Rush’s Geddy Lee. In an upcoming issue of “Classic Rock”, Robertson is quoted as saying: “Geddy is somewhere between my surrogate father and imaginary big brother…I was in the studio with him yesterday for a super-secret project that I can’t talk about.”
• The Who – Roger Daltrey has announced his “Who Was I?” solo tour of the UK later this year. The Who frontman has scheduled an intimate run of shows in November and December, which will see him perform the band’s classics, rarities and answer audience members’ questions.
• Kiss – were scheduled to return to the stage last night after announcing rescheduled dates for the North American leg of their End of the Road World Tour after postponing 5 shows due to Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons testing positive for Covid-19. Docs gave the OK to resume the tour last night in Irvine, California. The new dates will take place in October, with some delayed until 2022.
• Trace Adkins — Fox has cast him in a leading role on its upcoming country-music family drama “Monarch.” Premiering at midseason, it is described as “an epic, multigenerational musical drama about America’s first family of country music”, the fictional Romans.
• Brantley Gilbert — had a blast making the music video for ‘The Worst Country Song of All Time’ with Hardy, and now, he’s released a “behind the scenes” film, and – well, you’ve just gotta see it. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/zc9hcuf5
• Kenny Rogers – “Kenny Rogers: All In for the Gambler”, an hourlong special featuring artists like Chris Stapleton, Idina Menzel, Lady A, Lionel Richie, Little Big Town and Reba McEntire performing his hits. It will air Sept. 23 on CBS and Paramount+.
SHOOTING THE BULL
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Malignant” (R-Rated, Horror): Paralyzed by fear from shocking visions, a woman’s torment worsens as she discovers her waking dreams are terrifying realities. (Annabelle Wallis, Maddie Hasson)
• “The Card Counter” (R-Rated, Mystery/Drama): A revenge thriller telling the story of an ex-military interrogator turned gambler who is haunted by the ghosts of his past. (Oscar Isaac, Tiffany Haddish)
• “Queenpins” (R-Rated, Comedy): A bored and frustrated suburban homemaker and her best pal, a vlogger, turn a hobby into a multi-million-dollar counterfeit coupon caper. (Kristen Bell, Kirby Howell-Baptiste)
A MISS AMERICA MISS:
Happy birthday to the Miss America pageant, which turned 100 years old this week. Irrelevant? Probably, but they’re still trying. After ditching the swimsuit portion of the competition in an attempt at improving optics in 2018, Miss America has apparently embarked in a new initiative “to redefine women’s wellness to be focused on optimal health rather than physical appearance.” What does that mean? According to a press release, “Miss America is pivoting their mission to define women’s wellness as being based on optimal health, rather than physical appearance.” Yes, it sounds like the competition will be judged less on appearance and more on health and wellness, beginning this December. How one judges someone’s ‘health’ in a pageant setting is anyone’s guess, but most would agree the world could use a Miss America pageant that is really and truly focused on health right now—given that we’re in a pandemic.
(Are they still going to allow ‘fake wellnesses’?)
($20 for the first judge who lets slip the phrase, “Man, SHE looks healthy!”)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A man fed up with a road in poor condition near his Florida business had a novel solution: plant a banana tree in a pothole to warn motorists. Last week, Bryan Raymond planted the tree in a stubborn pothole along Honda Drive in Fort Myers. Raymond said the idea of planting a banana tree ripened in his mind after having to fill holes in the street with cement multiple times. Because Honda Drive is a private street, it’s up to the business owners to maintain the street. Raymonds says “If we have to maintain it and make sure nobody gets hurt, we are going to put something obvious there to make sure nobody gets in the hole.” At last check, the banana tree was still there…but no bananas yet. (Well…one.)
➢ A foul-mouthed fowl? An Australian duck named Ripper has been recorded repeatedly saying “you bloody fool” after learning to imitate humans. The newly surfaced audio of Ripper’s rant was included in research published in Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B journal on Monday. The swearing musk duck was hand-reared at a nature reserve in the 1980s. Ripper is believed to have learned the phrase from his handler. He is the focal point of research that analyzes how animals are capable of acquiring vocalization through learning. (Sorry, Australian Daffy. If you want to impress me, you’re going to have to ask if you should “put another shrimp on the barbie”!)
DID YOU KNOW?
Cheaper and better tasting chocolate is on the way, thanks to Canadian food scientists who say they have found the secret to making the sweet treat perfectly smooth. By simply adding a key component of cocoa butter fat, a team from the University of Guelph says chocolatiers can avoid costly tempering that produces the food’s smooth and glossy finish. They believe the technology will help decrease waste and failed batches, and can also improve on the carbon footprint of the chocolate-making process. They expect the discovery will bring the price of chocolate down, and will also make products creamier.
BS CHRONOMETER 09.10.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949  Bill O’Reilly, NYC, right-wing conservative TV personality (“The O’Reilly Factor” 1996-2016)/author (“Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot”)
1950  Joe Perry, Lawrence MA, rock guitarist (Aerosmith-‘Walk This Way’, ‘Dream On’)/member of Hollywood Vampires with Alice Cooper and Johnny Depp)
1960  Colin Firth, Grayshott UK, movie actor (“The King’s Speech”, “Mamma Mia!” movies)/Hollywood Walk of Fame, 2011
1968  Guy Ritchie, Hatfield UK, movie director (“The Man from UNCLE”, “Sherlock Holmes” films)/married to Madonna 2000-08)
1974  Ryan Phillippe (FIL-uh-pee), New Castle DE, movie actor (“Cruel Intentions”, “Crash”)/married to Reese Witherspoon 1999-2007
1984  Matthew Followill, Oklahoma, OK, alt-rock guitarist-keyboardist (Kings of Leon-‘Sex on Fire’, ‘Use Somebody’)
1986  Ashley Monroe, Knoxville TN, country singer (Pistol Annies-‘Hush Hush’, ‘Hell on Heels’)
SATURDAY- Tommy Shaw (Styx) is 68; Moby (‘Porcelain’) is 56; Harry Connick Jr (“Harry”) is 54; Taraji P Henson (“Empire”) is 51; Jonny Buckland (Coldplay) is 44; Ludacris (“Fast & Furious″) is 44; Charles Kelley (Lady A) is 40
SUNDAY- Comedian Louis CK is 54; Jennifer Nettles (Sugarland) is 47; 2 Chainz (w/Wiz Khalifa-‘We Own It’) is 44; Jennifer Hudson (“Dreamgirls”) is 40; Emmy Rossum (“Shameless”) is 35; Kelsea Ballerini (‘Love Me Like You Mean It’) is 28
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Make Up Day”, but it’s got nothing to do with face paint. If there’s someone you’re estranged from, this is the day to talk to them to see if the relationship can be salvaged. (When’s “International Make OUT Day”?)
• “TV Dinner Day”, In 1953, Swanson changed the prepackaged meal business forever by introducing the TV Dinner, consisting of turkey, cornbread dressing, peas, and sweet potatoes. By 1962, they had stopped using the name TV Dinner, but the term remains synonymous with any prepackaged dinner purchased frozen from a store and heated at home.
• “Swap Ideas Day”, because bouncing ideas off people is great for getting those creative juices flowing. Today you’re encouraged to trade ideas with others, to foster a sense of teamwork. (Good idea!)
• “World Suicide Prevention Day”, to provide worldwide commitment and action to prevent suicides, with various activities around the world since 2003. LINK: https://www.iasp.info/
• “Sew Be It Day”, on this day in 1846, Elias Howe was awarded the first American patent on a sewing machine. The first sewing machines were actually made in France in the 1830s. (Or sew it would seam…)
• “National Hot Dog Day”, (There’s also a “Hot Dog Day” in July – just go with it!) 5 things to know about everyone’s favorite street meat:
→ It is estimated that over 7billion hot dogs are eaten by Americans between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
→ The term “hot dog” is credited to sports cartoonist Tad Dorgan. At a baseball game in New York in 1901, vendors began selling hot dachshund sausages in rolls.
→ The most popular condiment for adults is mustard, while children prefer ketchup.
→ The first words Walt Disney’s Mickey Mouse ever uttered in a cartoon were “hot dogs” in “The Karnival Kid” in 1929.
→ The average American eats approximately 60 hot dogs per year.
• “Patriot Day” (formerly “9/11 Remembrance Day”), 20 years ago at 8:46 am EDT, terrorists began the attack on NYC’s World Trade Center using hijacked airliners. The Pentagon in Arlington VA was subsequently targeted, and an attempt by passengers and crew of United Airlines Flight 93 to retake control of their hijacked plane caused it to crash in a Pennsylvania field, killing all 64 on board. Patriot Day is in memory of those killed in the attacks, believed to number 2,996.
• “Emergency Number Day”, saluting the direct-dial 9-1-1 emergency system. (In the UK it’s 9-9-9; in Australia 0-0-0, in New Zealand 1-1-1, in much of Europe 1-1-2)
• “Hot Cross Buns Day”, a sweet, spiced bun made with currants or raisins and leavened with yeast. As the name suggests, these baked goodies are marked with a cross on the top, which is supposed to symbolize the crucifixion. (Now? I thought they were an ‘Easter’ thing??)
• “Make Your Bed Day”, many of us don’t make our beds every morning. Today is a good day to start. Doing so will make you feel better, and it is also good for your sleep. (Plus, if your spouse is still in there, it’ll drive them nuts!)
• “No News is Good News Day”, a day to take a break from all the bad news about catastrophes, disasters, crisis and sorrow. Just turn off the news for a while, enjoy the silence, and stop thinking about all the bad things. (Turn off the news? This public service message NOT brought to you by this station!!)
• “I Want to Start My Own Business Day”, if you really want to start your own business, your first step is to write down your goal. (After that? Uh…I don’t have a clue…)
• “Chocolate Milkshake Day”. The original recipe, which appeared in a British newspaper in 1885, called for a shot of whiskey.
• “National Video Games Day”, it is one of the most popular entertainment industries in the world, surpassing movies and music in annual revenue. This is a day to acknowledge the art and science behind video games and to appreciate the skills required to play them. (Skill #1? Be under 30…)
• “Police Woman Day”, The first policewoman may have been Marie Owens, hired by the Chicago Police Department in 1891.
• “National Day of Encouragement”, dedicated to uplifting people around us and making a positive impact. Today, do something to offer encouragement, whether it is someone at work or in your personal life. (You are strongly encouraged to do so…)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1990  Starring a young rapper named Will Smith, “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” debuts on NBC. Over the course of 6 seasons, his musical partner DJ Jazzy Jeff makes regular guest appearances
2018  John Legend, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice win Emmys for “Jesus Christ Superstar”, making them all EGOT winners (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1991  Nirvana’s landmark song ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ is released (often called the anthem of Generation X)
TODAY IN SPORTS . . .
2012  At the US Open, Andy Murray of the UK wins Men’s Singles, becoming the first Brit to win a Grand Slam singles title since Fred Perry, 76 years previous
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2008  The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) particle accelerator, “Biggest Scientific Experiment in History”, is powered up beneath Geneva, Switzerland (leads to the ‘god particle’)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1945  ‘Mike the Chicken’ is decapitated in Fruita, Colorado; he becomes known as ‘Mike the Headless Chicken’ as he survives for another 18 months
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ All bullfrogs close their eyes when they jump.
✓ Most dinosaurs were vegetarians, but they didn’t eat grass…there was none at that time.
✓ The secret code for unlocking nuclear missiles during the cold war was “00000000”.
✓ Typically, people eat about 35% more when dining with others than when eating alone.
✓ Each hair on your hear grows approximately 0.3mm (1/100th of an inch) per day.
✓ About 10% of people are left-handed, but about 20% are left-footed.
Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’VE GONE TO A BAD CHIROPRACTOR:
• The office furniture is made of old vertebrae.
• There’s a 2-drink minimum.
• He rushes in late to your appointment still wearing his McDonald’s uniform.
• Asks you, “What’s a joint like this doing in a girl like you?”
• Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by, “Uh-oh!”
• Tries to perform an adjustment on your wallet.
• At the end of the session, he lies down on the table and says, “OK, my turn!”
• Now when you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound.
-First published in BS in 2012
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ The NFL season has begun, and it couldn’t have come soon enough. (I mean, it makes the police blotter wayyyyyy more interesting…)
➠ Research shows marijuana smokers tend to be thinner. (The study has a margin of error of “plus or minus Seth Rogen.”)
➠ A survey found women most enjoy men with a sense of humor. (Good. I’ll be sure to wear my Groucho Marx nose and glasses when my wife finds my Tinder profile…)
➠ (***Caution***) A study found that men who drink 1 or 2 cups of coffee a day are less likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. (To capitalize, Starbucks now claims that men can go from “tall to venti” after just one cup!)
➠ Fact: People with blue bedroom walls get the most sleep. (What about people with velvet murals of themselves sculpted on their bedroom walls? I’m asking for a friend…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Happiest thing you’ll see today: https://tinyurl.com/a9yb4yz8
BS RANDOM JOKE:
In retrospect, hiding all the microchips in the horse de-wormer was a stroke of genius…
BS PHONE STARTERS:
What’s the most expensive mistake you’ve ever made?
What was the first thing you did when you heard about 9/11?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to research, if you have THIS, chances are you’ll eat more. What is it?
Answer: A messy or cluttered kitchen
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The best things in life aren’t things.